


Chances

by westwingfanfictioncentral_archivist



Category: The West Wing
Genre: Alternate Universe, Angst, F/M, Original Character - Freeform, Post Bartlett Administration
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2000-11-14
Updated: 2000-11-14
Packaged: 2019-05-15 12:56:59
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 45
Words: 41,666
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14790932
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/westwingfanfictioncentral_archivist/pseuds/westwingfanfictioncentral_archivist
Summary: Josh files for divorce from Donna and for full custody of their child.





	1. Chances

**Author's Note:**

> A copy of this work was once archived at National Library, a part of the [ West Wing Fanfiction Central](https://fanlore.org/wiki/West_Wing_Fanfiction_Central), a West Wing fanfiction archive. More information about the Open Doors approved archive move can be found in the [announcement post](http://archiveofourown.org/admin_posts/8325).

Title: Chances 

Author: Cindy Brewer 

Disclaimer: I don't own the West Wing characters but the ones you don't recognize are mine.:) 

Rating: PG 

Author's notes: This story is set five years from West Wing's first season. For purposes of this story's timeline Bartlet didn't win reelection. 

Many thanks to Amanda for letting me borrow Caitlin and for her valuable input on this story.:) Single '' quotation marks indicate a flashback.

 

Caitlin Bartlet juggled a briefcase and a bag of groceries as she scurried up the sidewalk to her condo. Halfway up the sidewalk she heard the phone ringing. By the time she reached the front door and fished out her keys the phone had rung at least ten times. The brown haired young woman hoped that whoever it was could wait just a little longer.

"Hello?"Caitlin answered as she grabbed the cordless phone from the small side table in the hallway.

"Cait?"Donna Moss replied near tears.

Caitlin instantly dropped the briefcase and plunked the bag of groceries down on the table. She hadn't heard from her ex-roommate in nearly six months. Both of their lives had gotten too hetic in the last year to even think straight let alone keep up on friendships. Now hearing the tears in her friend's voice Caitlin regretted that instantly.

"Donna?"Caitlin asked as she moved into the living room taking off her coat. "What's wrong?"

"I've lost him, Cait."Donna whispered.

Caitlin sat down onto the sofa. "Donna, talk to me....what do you mean you've lost him? Is Josh hurt?"

"He's filed for divorce."Moss replied between sniffles. "And for full custody of Rachel."

"What?!"Caitlin replied standing straight up. "When did this happen? You two seemed so happy when we all got together for Leo's birthday."

"That was six months ago,Cait."Donna replied sadly. "A lot can happen in six months."

"Are you still in Chicago?"Caitlin asked as she walked toward her bedroom.

"Yes, why?"Donna replied quietly.

"I'll be on the soonest flight I can get."Caitlin promised as she pulled a suitcase from the closet. "We'll fix this, Donna. Josh can't be that pigheaded."

"I don't think it can be fixed, Caitlin."Donna replied wearily. "He was so angry....."

"It'll work out,Donna, it has to."Caitlin stated firmly."If you and Josh can hit this kind of a rough patch what kind of chance do Sam and I have?"

When Donna didn't reply Caitlin became more worried. "I'll be there as soon as I can, okay?"

"Okay."Donna replied quietly as she hung up the phone.

With a sigh Caitlin tossed the cordless phone on the bed and turned back to the closet to pull out some clothes. Half way through that task she realized she had better call Sam and tell him what was going on. With an armload of dresses Caitlin reached over the suitcase and snagged the cordless.

"Hello?"Seaborn answered on the third ring.

"Sam, it's me. I'm going to have to go out of town for awhile."Caitlin replied as she placed the dresses carefully in the suitcase.

"What's going on?"Her husband asked with concern.

"Have you talked to Josh recently?"Caitlin asked as she headed over to her dresser.

Sam raised an eyebrow. "No, not since Leo's birthday party, why?"

"Just got a call from Donna."Bartlet replied quietly as she continued to pack.

"She okay?"Sam asked as he stood and looked out the window of his law office.

"No."Caitlin replied worriedly. "She said Josh filed for divorce and for full custody of Rachel."

"What?"Sam exclaimed as he whirled away from the window."When did this happen?"

"Very recently from what I could pry out of her."Caitlin replied sadly."Something's very wrong, Sam. I just can't see Josh filing for divorce let alone custody."

"I know."Seaborn replied as he glanced down at his planner. "I have a couple cases to wrap up and then I'll join up with you in a day or two. She still in Chicago?"

"Yeah, but I'm not sure if Josh is."Caitlin commented as she closed the suitcase. "I'll call you as soon as I get there."

"Have a safe trip."Sam replied quietly.

"I will."Caitlin promised as she walked into the living room and pulled out the phone book.

"Love you."Seaborn stated as he sat back down behind his desk.

"I love you too."Caitlin replied softly as she hung up the phone.

*******

It was nearly eight o'clock before Caitlin finally arrived at Josh and Donna's home in Chicago. Weather delays and computer malfunctions had delayed her one o'clock flight for nearly three hours.

"Some twenty first century."Caitlin muttered after she paid the cab driver and picked up her suitcase. "We can put a man on the moon but we can't get a human being from point a to point b."

Donna met her in the doorway with one and a half year old Rachel in her arms. "I couldn't get her to sleep."Moss replied to Caitlin's questioning glance. "Been trying for the past hour."

"Okay."Caitlin replied as she glanced at the dark haired little girl. The two friends walked into the living room of the small home and Caitlin set her suitcase down by the sofa. "Why don't you let me take her for awhile. Then after she's asleep you can tell me what's going on."

*********

end of part 1 TBC

  

  


	2. Chances 2

Title: Chances 

Author: Cindy Brewer 

Disclaimer: I don't own the West Wing characters but the ones you don't recognize are mine.:) 

Rating: PG 

Author's notes: This story is set five years from West Wing's first season. For purposes of this story's timeline Bartlet didn't win reelection. 

Many thanks to Amanda for letting me borrow Caitlin and for her valuable input on this story.:) Single '' quotation marks indicate a flashback.

 

It took Caitlin another twenty minutes and two stories but Rachel finally fell asleep snuggled against a stuffed tiger. Caitlin tousled the girl's hair briefly before turning around. She stopped seeing Donna standing in the doorway. Her friend was drawn and pale and looked like she hadn't slept in a week. Caitlin gently placed a hand on her friends shoulder as she ushered them into the hall. She reached back in and turned the light off and closed the door behind her.

"Come on."Caitlin began as she led the way to the living room. "I'll fix us some hot chocolate and then you can tell me what happened."

Donna stared at the closed door of her daughter's room for a long moment before turning and following her friend.

"Did I ever tell you about Dan Collins?"Donna asked quietly as the two women reached the kitchen.

Caitlin paused in her task of taking out the milk and hot cocco mix and turned to face Donna. "Wasn't he your high school sweetheart?"

Donna leaned against the oak kitchen counter as she nodded. "Yeah. We dated all four years of high school."

Caitlin nodded as she went back to preparing the hot chocolate not wanting to press the issue. She knew Donna would talk when she was ready.

"He stopped by out of the blue about six months ago."Moss continued softly.

Caitlin frowned at the six months part but didn't comment. She placed two mugs into the microwave and hit start. She put the milk back in the refrigerator and turned back to face Donna.

"Was it good to see him?"Caitlin asked trying to fill the lull.

Donna smiled briefly. "Yeah it was. We hadn't seen each other since graduation. Josh was out of town doing those lecture things that he loves....think he was in Hawaii. Anyway Dan invited me to dinner...he needed someone to talk to...he and his wife were going through a nasty divorce. I got a babysitter for Rachel and we went downtown for dinner. It was a nice evening.....really fun catching up with him and getting info on our mutual friends. We saw each other several times over the next few months....just as friends. Then one night about a month ago I came home....."

Caitlin ignored the beeping of the microwave as she caught the wave of pain that flashed across Donna's face. "What happened when you got home Donna?"

"Everything fell apart."Donna whispered as she turned away from the counter and walked to the fireplace. Donna stared at her wedding picture for a long moment before she took a family portrait down off the mantle. It'd been taken when Rachel was just six months old. They looked so happy....how could everything go so wrong?

********

Former Deputy Chief of Staff Joshua Lyman stepped out onto the balcony of his hotel room and looked out at the city he had once called his home. The Nation's Capitol sparkled in the clear night as Josh stared at the Capitol Building. He hadn't been back to D.C. for nearly two years despite lucrative lecture offers. The wounds were still too fresh....the memories too painful....

With a sigh Josh glanced at his watch.....barely eight o'clock. Too early to go to sleep. Turning and walking back into his room Josh decided to catch a late dinner.

*******

Caitlin hated to see her friend in so much pain. But there was nothing she could really do until Donna told her what was wrong. She approached her friend from the right and handed her a pink mug. Donna replaced the family picture before following Caitlin over to the sofa.

"How's Sam?"Donna asked as she set the hot choclate down on the oak coffee table untouched.

Caitlin smiled. "He's Sam....working too hard but loving every minute. His new office is doing well."

"That's good."Donna replied quietly her fingers absently tracing the handle of the mug that sat a few feet away on the table.

"Josh came home early."Moss continued softly as she stared out the bay window. "When he entered the house he found it dark and discovered a small amount of smoke coming from upstairs."

Caitlin whirled to face her. "There was a fire? Why didn't you call me?"

Donna felt the tears start to form again but shoved them back. She was so tired of crying...of feeling miserable every minute."It wasn't really a fire."

"Somthing caused the smoke."Caitlin pointed out.

"There weren't even any flames....just a few sparks that caused the smoke."Donna replied wearily."Apparently Becky the girl I had got to babysit Rachel had a date later that night and had left the curling iron plugged in. The cord got too hot....."

Donna broke off as she flashed on Josh's face that night when she came home. His face pale, his clothes rumpled, his normally beautifal, compassionate eyes filled with fear. Rachel was squirming in his arms trying to get to her mother but Josh refused to let her go.

'Where the hell were you?'

'I went out to dinner.'

'You couldn't take Rachel with?'

'Josh she's a baby.....this wasn't the type of....'

'Our daughter's safety should be the most important thing! Not who you socialize with.'

Caitlin reached over and placed a gentle hand on her friend's shoulder as she noticed the far away look in Donna's eyes.

"Was anybody hurt?"Caitlin asked quietly.

Donna shook her head tears flowing freely. "No....Josh grabbed Rachel and got Becky out and went to the neighbors to call the fire department."

"But he blamed you."Caitlin replied remembering clearly how the death of Josh's sister had affected him. If he had thought Rachel was in the same sort of danger he would've flipped....

"Yes."Donna stated as she stood and walked over to the kitchen to get a paper towel to wipe her face.

Caitlin stood. "Didn't he realize that it was an accident? That there was no way that you could've known...."

Donna sniffled. "Oh Cait....with everything that happened when Joanie died this incident just took Josh right back there. He wasn't thinking he was just reacting. All he could think about was that his little girl was going to die the same way his sister did....there was nothing I could say to convince him that I would rather die myself than let anything touch Rachel...."

Caitlin touched her shoulder.

**********

Josh walked into a bustling Irish pub near Capitol Hill and nearly collided with a friend he hadn't seen in six months.

"Sam."

"Josh."

"You heading out?"

"Yeah but I can stay. You look like hell."

"Nice to see you too, buddy."

end of part 2 TBC

 


	3. Chances 3

Title: Chances 

Author: Cindy Brewer 

Disclaimer: I don't own the West Wing characters but the ones you don't recognize are mine.:) 

Rating: PG 

Author's notes: This story is set five years from West Wing's first season. For purposes of this story's timeline Bartlet didn't win reelection. 

Many thanks to Amanda for letting me borrow Caitlin and for her valuable input on this story.:) Single '' quotation marks indicate a flashback.

 

A black haired waitress showed Sam and Josh to a table by the window. Once they were seated the women took their orders and then disappeared into the crowd with practiced ease.

The two friends stared at each other for a long moment before Seaborn spoke.

"What are you doing back in D.C.? I thought you said you'd never come back here."

"Lots of things change."Josh replied quietly as he absently twirled a fork in his hands. "How's Caitlin?"

"With Donna...she left this afternoon."Sam commented a little more curtly than he had intended.

Despite everything Josh's eyes widened with concern. "She and Rachel okay?"

Sam nodded. "Physically yes, but they miss you. What the hell are you thinking?"

Josh winced and looked out the window. "I take it you heard I filed for divorce."

"Which I still can't believe."Sam replied with a shake of his head. "Why, Josh? You two seemed fine at Leo's birthday party."

"That was before."Lyman stated quietly a slight tremor in his voice. The question jogged memories that Josh didn't want to think about....even now.

"Before what?"Sam asked sharply.

"Before...."Josh replied but stood abruptly and tossed a few bills onto the table.

"Josh...."Sam called as Lyman started to walk away from the table. "Before what....what happened?"

"Ask Caitlin."Lyman snapped."I'm sure Donna's already filled her in."

Sam let him go knowing he wouldn't get anything more out of Josh that night. As he turned forward Sam glanced down at his wedding band and smiled at the memory it brought. Maybe it was naive to think this way but Sam knew that he and Caitlin would be together forever. Just like Josh and Donna. That is if he and Caitlin could fix whatever it was that had gone so horribly wrong.

******

Caitlin gently touched her friend's shoulder. "When was the last time you slept?"

Donna sniffled and shook her head. "I-I can't remember....."

"Come on...."Caitlin replied gently pulling Donna out of the kitchen. "You get some rest. Tomorrow we'll track down Josh and get the two of you to talk."

Donna shot her a disbelieving look but was too exhausted to argue. She tredged up the stairs and stopped in front of Rachel's room. Donna gently opened the door a crack and peeked inside.

"It'll work out, Donna."Caitlin promised quietly. "It has to. You and Josh are meant for each other."

"I used to believe that."Donna replied sadly as she shut the door to her daughter's room and turned and walked down the hall to her own.

Caitlin stood in the hallway and sighed. Whatever else happened tomorrow she was going to talk to Josh. Somebody had to knock some sense into him.

*******

Jed Bartlet padded sleepily into the kitchen just as his wife Abby hung up the phone.

"Telemarketer?"The former President asked as he sat down and poured a glass of orange juice.

Abby grinned as she sat down across from her husband. "No, your daughter."

"Which one?"Jed replied as he reached for a piece of toast.

"Caitlin."Abby commented as she poured a bowl of cearel for herself.

"She and Sam have a fight?"Bartlet asked as he took a bite of toast.

Abby shook her head. "No she's just wanted to let us know that she's staying in Chicago with Donna."

Jed paused halfway through his bite of eggs. "Everything okay with Donna and Josh?"

"No."Abby replied sadly. "From what Caitlin said Josh has filed for divorce and for full custody of Rachel."

Jed eyes widened in surprise and he swallowed the eggs to keep from choking. "Has he gone insane?"

"We don't know the whole story, Jed."Abby admonished quietly. "All marriages have their rough spots, even ours."

"Is Josh still living with them?"Bartlet asked as he reached for his cup of coffee.

Abby shook her head sadly. "No."

"Oh."Jed replied quietly as he returned his attention to his breakfast.

********

end of part 3 TBC


	4. Chances 4

Title: Chances 

Author: Cindy Brewer 

Disclaimer: I don't own the West Wing characters but the ones you don't recognize are mine.:) 

Rating: PG 

Author's notes: This story is set five years from West Wing's first season. For purposes of this story's timeline Bartlet didn't win reelection. Many thanks to Amanda for letting me borrow Caitlin and for her valuable input on this story.:) 

Single '' quotation marks indicate a flashback.

 

Sam Seaborn awoke to a shrill sound. It took him several moments to realize it was the phone. Eyes still closed Sam rolled over and fumbled for the phone on the night stand.

" 'lo?"Sam greeted as he snuggled deeper under the covers.

"I'm sorry, honey, didn't mean to wake you. Go back to sleep."Caitlin replied sheepishly. "I'll call back later."

Sam was instantly awake. "No, it's okay. How's Donna?"

Caitlin leaned against the Lyman's kitchen counter as she waited for a bagel to get done toasting. "Still asleep. Poor thing hasn't slept well in weeks."

"I ran into Josh last night."Seaborn replied as he sat up reaching for his glasses.

"What?!"Caitlin exclaimed then quickly lowered her voice so she wouldn't wake Rachel or Donna. "Where?"

"Here in D.C.. At the Irish Times."Sam replied.

"In D.C.?"Caitlin repeated in surprise just as the toaster dinged. "Josh swore he'd never go back."

"What's going on with them, Cait?"Sam asked with concern. "I've never seen him like he was last night. Not even after the shooting..."

"There was a fire."Caitlin replied quietly as she pulled the bagel out of the toaster and began applying cream cheese.

"What?!"Sam exclaimed sitting straight up. "Anybody hurt?"

"No, there wasn't even any flames. Just smoke. But Donna had gone out to dinner with a friend and left Rachel with a babysitter."Caitlin replied as she pulled a can of soda out of the refridgerator.

Sam took his glasses off and rubbed a hand over his face slowly. "And Josh came home and found the house filling with smoke and freaked."

"That's it in a nutshell."

"No wonder I couldn't get him to talk about it."Sam commented with a sad shake of his head. "Must've been his worst nightmare."

"I know."Caitlin replied quietly. "But there's got to be more going on with him, Sam. He hasn't been the same the last couple years and you know it."

"Yeah."

"Did he leave a number with you?"Caitlin asked.

Seaborn shook his head. "No, he stormed out before I could find out anything. Want me to track him down?"

"We've got to get them talking."Caitlin replied just as she heard a soft cry from upstairs. "Rachel's awake. I want to get to her before she wakes Donna. I'll talk to you soon."

"Love you."Sam stated quietly as he swung his legs over the side of the bed.

"Love you too."Caitlin replied as she hung up.

*********

Donna awoke and glanced at the alarm clock in disbelief. It couldn't possibly be eleven o'clock. She hadn't slept in that long since....well since probably her college days.

Donna sat up and tossed the covers off. The sun was streaming through the windows indicating it was a beautifal day outside. After getting dressed Donna stepped out into the hallway. She could hear Caitlin and Rachel down in the living room. It sounded like Caitlin was trying to get Rachel to sing some Disney tunes. Well as much as a one and a half year old could sing.

As she paused at the top of the stairs Donna couldn't help but recall when Rachel had said her first word. She smiled at the memory of Josh racing for his video camera.

'Josh, slow down you'll break your neck. I'm not even sure it was a word.'

'It was! I clearly heard it.'

'And what was it?'

'I'm sure it had meaning to her that it might not to us.'

"Hey."Caitlin called as Donna stepped into the living room. "How'd you sleep?"

Donna smiled briefly. "Like a rock. I can't believe you let me sleep this late."

Caitlin grinned as she stood and pulled Rachel into her arms. "I figured you needed it."

Donna took Rachel and walked over to the refrigerator. "I don't have any set plans for today. Want to do some shopping?"

Caitlin's face lit up. "You know me I'm always ready to shop. But what about work? Don't you have to check in?"

Donna shook her head. "No. I've taken an indefinete leave from Congresswoman Shultz's office until after the custody hearing."

Caitlin swallowed hard as she approached the kitchen counter. "You already have a date?"

Donna nodded sadly as she unconsciencely pulled Rachel closer as she set the gallon of orange juice down on the counter. "The papers arrived yesterday. That's why I was so upset when I called you. The papers made it seem real."

As if sensing her mother's mood Rachel began to cry softly. Donna instantly stroked the infant's back as she whispered. "It'll be alright,sweetie. Everything will be okay."

**********

end of part 4 TBC

 


	5. Chances 5

Title: Chances 

Author: Cindy Brewer  

Disclaimer: I don't own the West Wing characters but the ones you don't recognize are mine.:) 

Rating: PG 

Author's notes: This story is set five years from West Wing's first season. For purposes of this story's timeline Bartlet didn't win reelection. 

Many thanks to Amanda for letting me borrow Caitlin and for her valuable input on this story.:) Single '' quotation marks indicate a flashback.

 

"How'd you track me down?"Josh grumbled as Sam stepped into his hotel room at eleven thirty.

"D.C.'s a small town in many ways Josh, you know that."Seaborn replied quietly as he looked around the sparse room.

"I was just on my way out so talk fast."Josh stated curtly as he plucked his briefcase from the small table and turned to face his friend.

Sam sat down on the corner of the dresser. "What's going on with you?"

Josh glared at him. He knew Sam was only trying to help but he didn't want to talk about the mess with Donna. Not now perhaps not ever.

"Nothing. I'm the same happy go-lucky Josh that I always am."Lyman replied as he shifted the briefcase from one hand to the other.

"That's bull and you know it."Sam snapped as he stood. "You haven't been the same since the shooting."

"Forgive me having people gunned down in front of me doesn't go away."Josh replied angerily as he tossed the briefcase down on the bed.

"It was almost six years ago, Josh."Sam replied gently. "You can't let it affect the rest of your life."

"It hasn't."Lyman stated firmly as he sat down on the corner of the bed. The conversation bringing back memories of that dark night that he thought he had forgotten.

'Who's been hit? Who's been hit?!'

'Flamingo's down!'

'Who's got Bookbag? Gina's hit!'

'This is Dan Newman reporting live from the scene of President Bartlet's townhall meeting in Arlington. Just minutes ago the park behind me was chaos as two snipers rained bullets down on the crowd. There is no word yet on the conditon of the President, his daughter or members of his senior staff.....'

Josh shook himself away from the painful memories and abruptly stood and picked up the briefcase. "Thanks for the trek down memory lane, Sam. If you don't have anything more pressing to talk about I really have to be going."

"I know about the fire, Josh."Sam stated catching Lyman in the doorway.

Josh sighed as he walked back into the room and shut the door.

*********

"You really want to drag all this up now? Fine."Josh replied wearily as he retook his seat on the corner of the bed, the briefcase hit the floor.

"If it'll fix what's going on with you and Donna, yes."Sam confirmed as he pulled a chair away from the table and positioned it so he was opposite Lyman.

Josh rubbed a hand over his face. "It's over, Sam. Do you think I would've filed the divorce papers if I had thought that there was even a chance?"

Sam leaned forward. "How can you say with such finality that there isn't a chance? When was the last time you talked with her? I mean really talked?"

Josh stared at his friend for a long moment. Sam had a point....Josh couldn't remember the last time he and Donna had really talked. The only time he'd actually been home for more than a week had been right after the fire and they weren't exactly on speaking terms then. Then the anger resurfaced as Josh thought of how close they had come to losing their daughter.

"It wouldn't do any good."Josh replied as he stood and walked over to the window. "If Donna wants to talk we can talk at the custody hearing."

Sam blinked in surprise. He thought he'd made a dent but......"Hearing? I didn't realize things had gone that far."

Josh nodded as he leaned against the wall. "It's set for next week."His voice dropped to a whisper. "I don't want to take Rachel from her mother, Sam, but things can't go on the way they have been."

********

Sam stood and came to stand next to his friend. "I'm going to meet up with Caitlin tomorrow. Why don't you come back with me?"

Josh met his friend's gaze for a moment before turning and looking back out the window. "Can't....have a few things here to do."

Sam placed a hand on his shoulder. "It'll do you some good to see Rachel."

Josh's heart melted at the thought of his daughter. He'd missed so much of her young life already with all his traveling. Where did the time go?"I can't believe she's almost two....."

Sam grinned and walked to the room's small closet and picked up Josh's single suitcase. He turned and plopped it on the bed. "Come on, start packing."

Josh looked from the suitcase to Sam and back again knowing he wasn't going to win this battle. "Alright....I have to make a few calls first."

********

end of part 5 TBC


	6. Chances 6

Title: Chances 

Author: Cindy Brewer 

Disclaimer: I don't own the West Wing characters but the ones you don't recognize are mine.:) 

Rating: PG 

Author's notes: This story is set five years from West Wing's first season. For purposes of this story's timeline Bartlet didn't win reelection. 

Many thanks to Amanda for letting me borrow Caitlin and for her valuable input on this story.:) Single '' quotation marks indicate a flashback.

 

Donna laughed at Caitlin's choice of items as they stood in line at a coffee bar in Woodfield Mall. "Cait, I'm going to be peeling you off the ceiling."

Cailin smiled as she handed the necessary money to the clerk and stepped out of line. "What?"

Donna pointed to the large cup. "Double rich mocha supreme?"

"I seem to remember you having a cappuccino every morning at the White House."Caitlin countered as she took a sip of the cold drink.

Donna laughed as she pushed Rachel ahead of them in a stroller. "Point taken. What store do we hit next?"

Caitlin reached down and ruffled Rachel's hair. "How about the toy store?"

Donna stopped and looked at her friend in mock disbelief. "Toy store? Cait, did you even look into Rachel's room? It is a toy store in itself. Josh brings something back for her every time he travels."

"One more won't hurt."Caitlin replied with a grin as the two friends started walking.

*********

"I'm going to go get some french fries."Donna commented as she stood. "Want anything?"

Caitlin glanced up from their small table in the center of the bustling food court. "No thanks."

Donna nodded as she reached over and began to remove Rachel from the highchair. "Come on, sweetie. Let's give Aunt Caitlin a few minutes of peace."

Caitlin grinned. "Its okay, Donna you can leave her."

Donna paused as she glanced at her friend. "You sure, Cait? She can be a handful."

Caitlin laughed. "I watched Zoey when she was little....we'll be fine. Besides Rachel and I have become great friends, right Rach?"

The little girl laughed and squirmed in her mother's arms.

"Okay."Donna replied with a wide smile as she replaced her daughter in the highchair and secured it. "Behave for Auntie Caitlin, sweetie, Mommy will be right back."

After Donna disappeared into the crowd Caitlin turned to meet the little girl's gaze. "So how are we going to get your parents back together?"

Just then Caitlin's cellular phone rang. It took Caitlin a few minutes to find her purse among the small pile of shopping bags at her feet. By the time she removed the phone from the purse it was on its sixth ring.

"Hello?"Caitlin answered raising her voice slightly to be heard over the din of conversation.

"Caitlin?"Sam replied. "Where are you? I can barely hear you."

"At the mall with Donna."Caitlin stated with a smile as she glanced over at Rachel. "Where are you?"

"Would you believe on a plane with Josh?"Seaborn replied with a grin as he glanced over at his friend's sleeping form in the seat next to him.

"How did you manage that?"Caitlin asked her eyes widening with surprise."Can you talk?"

"Yeah, he's asleep."Sam replied as he settled back into his seat. "As for how....we got talking about the past and he realized he wanted to see Rachel so I convinced him to come with."

"Good."Caitlin stated with a relieved smile. "This is exactly what they both need. What time are you guys getting in?"

"Probably around five."Seaborn replied as he glanced at his watch. "How's Donna?"

"A little better since I got her out of the house."Caitlin commented sadly.

Sam caught the sadness in her voice. "This will work out, Caitie."

"I know."Caitlin replied as she absently handed Rachel the toy she had tossed on the floor. "I just can't help but think that if we had been better friends to them the last few months this wouldn't have happened."

"I've been thinking the same thing."Sam commented as he glanced over at Josh.

Caitlin looked out at the crowd. "Donna's on her way back. I'll see you in a few hours.....love you."

"Love you too."Sam replied quietly as he hung up the phone.

Donna returned just as Caitlin was putting her cellular phone away. "Sam?"She asked with a knowing smile.

"Yeah."Caitlin replied as she reached over and swiped one of Donna's fries. "He's on his way."

Donna caught something in her friend's voice. "Sam's not alone is he?"

Caitlin shook her head. "No he ran into Josh and they decided to come back to Chicago together."

Donna blinked in surprise. "Josh was in D.C.?"

Caitlin stared at her. "You didn't know where he was?"She asked not believing that things between Josh and Donna had gotten that bad.

"The only time Josh calls these days is to find out how Rachel is."Donna replied with a sad shake of her head."Which I assume is the reason he's coming home now."

Caitlin glanced at her watch nearly two. "It's almost two their plane comes in at five."

Donna stood and began to gather her belongings. "We should get going then."

Caitlin sighed inwardly as she picked up her shopping bags. She hoped that once Josh and Donna saw each other that all the unpleasantness would vanish and things would return to normal.

*******

end of part 6 TBC

 


	7. Chances 7

Title: Chances 

Author: Cindy Brewer 

Disclaimer: I don't own the West Wing characters but the ones you don't recognize are mine.:) 

Rating: PG 

Author's notes: This story is set five years from West Wing's first season. For purposes of this story's timeline Bartlet didn't win reelection. 

Many thanks to Amanda for letting me borrow Caitlin and for her valuable input on this story.:) Single '' quotation marks indicate a flashback.

 

As Sam paid the cab driver Josh stood on the sidewalk glancing up at his home. Memories began to overwhelm him. Josh smiled remembering the first time he had shown it to Donna.

'Joshua I can't see. I'm going to trip over the curb or a twig or something and break my neck.'

Josh grinned as he helped his wife out the car and onto the sidewalk still keeping a hand over her eyes. 'Have I ever let you down in anything before?'

Donna grinned. 'Does cooking count?'

'Donnatella....'

'No, Joshua you haven't. Now can I see what was so urgent that I had to leave Congresswoman Shultz in the middle of a crisis?'

Josh laughed. 'I wouldn't call a gaggle of stampeding geese a crisis.'

'It was a highly publicized ribbon cutting of a new park.'Donna replied indignantly. 'The Congresswoman trampled by geese could've been a PR nightmare.'

Josh finally removed his hand and Donna gasped at the sight before her. Nestled between a small group of oak trees was a two-story brick house. It had wood shutters and matching door.

'Josh! It's perfect!'

'I thought so too.'Josh replied with a grin. 'The real estate agent said it's ours if we want it.'

Donna turned to face him. 'Do you like it?'

Josh nodded as he placed an arm around her waist drawing her close as they looked back at the house.'I can't picture us living anywhere else.'

"You okay?"Sam asked as he came to stand next to his friend.

Lyman shook himself away from the memories and started walking. "Yeah."

********

Donna had watched the cab as soon as it pulled onto their street. She had watched from the window as Sam and Josh got out of the cab and started toward the door. Donna held Rachel tightly in her arms as she wondered what she would say to Josh. It seemed like it'd been a lifetime since they had last spoken when in reality it'd only been a month.

'Josh, please.....we need to talk. Can't you postpone the trip?'

'There's nothing left to say, Donnatella.'Lyman replied sadly as he zipped up the small blue duffel bag and started to leave their bedroom.

'How can you be so sure, Josh? We owe it to Rachel to try to....'

Josh whirled around his brown eyes blazing with anger. 'Don't bring her into this. I will not have my daughter used as a pawn!'

'That's not what I'm doing and you know it! This isn't about what happened with the 'fire'. Something's been wrong between us for months, Josh and I just don't know what it is or how to fix it.'

Donna snapped back to the present as the doorbell rang.

"Want me to let them in?"Caitlin offered quietly as she walked toward the front door.

Donna shook her head. "No, I'll do it."She replied as she walked over to the door and opened it.

As soon as Donna opened the door Josh was instantly struck by the deep sadness in her blue eyes. Had he put that there?

"Donnatella."

"Josh."Donna replied quietly as she stepped away from the door so they could enter.

"Hi, Donna."Sam stated as he entered the house his gaze instantly meeting his wife's across the room.

"Hi Sam."Donna replied flashing him a small smile. "How was the flight?"

"Good."Seaborn commented as he moved to stand next to Caitlin. "Hi."

"Hi yourself."Caitlin replied quietly as she wrapped her arms around Sam's neck and kissed him quickly. "Missed you."

"Missed you too."Sam stated with a grin as he tenderly brushed away a stray brown hair from her face.

Meanwhile Josh had instantly scooped up his daughter from Donna's arms and carried her over to the sofa."Shorty, you've gotten so big......"

"Of course she has.....she's almost two, Josh. I can't remember the last time you spent time with her."The words were out of Donna's mouth before she realized it and it was too late to take them back.

Josh glared at her but purposely kept his voice even as to not upset his daughter. "I didn't come here to fight but if that's they way its going to be tonight I can arrange to come back another time."

Caitlin instantly moved into the center of the room. "Did you guys eat on the plane?"

Sam nodded. "Technically yes....if you like to qualify that as food."

"So you're still hungry then?"Caitlin replied with a grin.

"Starved."Josh interjected as he stood watching with amusement, as Rachel seemed fascinated with his tie.

"Donna, why don't we take them out for dinner somewhere?"Caitlin suggested shooting her friend a meaningful look.

"Great idea."Donna replied as she moved toward the closet to get her coat. "There's a new family style Italian restaurant a few blocks from here that I've been meaning to try."

end of part 7 TBC

 


	8. Chances 8

Title: Chances 

Author: Cindy Brewer 

Disclaimer: I don't own the West Wing characters but the ones you don't recognize are mine.:) 

Rating: PG 

Author's notes: This story is set five years from West Wing's first season. For purposes of this story's timeline Bartlet didn't win reelection. 

Many thanks to Amanda for letting me borrow Caitlin and for her valuable input on this story.:) Single '' quotation marks indicate a flashback.

 

The ride to the restaurant was tense. The only sound coming from Sam and Caitlin's quiet conversation in the backseat. Josh glanced over at Donna as he pulled the car into the parking lot. She had responded to Sam and Caitlin's questions but hadn't said a word to him. Josh sighed inwardly as he pulled the car into a spot and killed the engine. Not that he had expected anything else. The mess that was their marriage wasn't his fault or Donna's. It was just where the pieces had fallen over the last year.

Josh got out of the car and opened the rear door to take Rachel out of her car seat. Part of Josh had hoped that coming back here they could try to put the pieces back together. But the tension that radiated between them made it clear to Josh that there wasn't any hope left.

A dark haired male waiter greeted the foursome warmly and lead them to a table near the back of the restaurant. Once seated and orders taken the group fell silent except for the occasional small talk and gurgles from Rachel.

Sam glanced around the table sadly. The four of them at one time could've been kicked out of a place like this for their loud but friendly debates about various issues. Now the tension was like a thick fog.

"You said you two were at the mall?"Sam asked Caitlin in a weak attempt to break the silence. "How much dent did you but in our credit cards?"

Caitlin grinned. "A small one. They had some good sales."

Donna absently rolled the fork around her place mat as she stole a glance at Josh and Rachel. Seeing the two of them she couldn't help but remember the day she had told Josh they were expecting.

\--------

Donna stared at the pregnancy test in shock. Happy shock but shock none the less. She and Josh had barely been married three months and now to have a baby on the way......

'Hey sweetie.'Josh called from the bedroom. 'You're going to use up all the hot water.'

Donna glanced over at the shower, which she had left running by mistake. 'I'll be out in a minute.'

Lyman poked his head in the bathroom door having caught the anxious tone in her voice. 'You okay?'

Swallowing hard Donna turned to face her husband not sure how he was going to react to this change in their lives.

'I think I'm pregnant.'Donna replied quietly her hand still tightly closed around the pregnancy test.

'Really?'Josh asked his face lighting up like a kid locked in a toy store.

Donna held up the small plastic stick. 'It was positive.'She whispered still amazed at the turn of events.

'That's incredible news, my love.'Josh replied huskily as he pulled her into his arms lifting her off her feet.

*********

Donna was jerked back to the present as the waiter returned with their meals. As the friends ate the tension dissipated a little. They even began to reminisce.....Sam and Caitlin's wedding....the campaign.....their time in the White House.

There was so many things Donna wanted to ask her husband. So many things they needed to talk about. But for some reason she couldn't meet Josh's gaze long enough to avoid the painful memories.

Josh reached for the parmesan cheese in the center of the table. His hand brushed Donna's as she reached for it as well. Their gazes locked briefly as a familiar spark passed between them.

Donna was the first to break contact and return her attention to her meal. Josh's gaze lingered a moment on Donna before he reached for his water glass and took a sip.

Just then Sam's startled cry brought everyone's gaze to the former deputy communications director.

Caitlin's hand instantly flew to her mouth to prevent the giggles that were threatening to escape.

Josh wasn't so successful as he gave into a fit of hysterical laughter.

Donna bit her lip to keep her own laughter in line as she dipped the corner of her napkin into her water glass and handed it to Sam.

Seaborn took off his marina soaked glasses and began to peel the noodles out of his hair. He glanced down at the offending meatball sitting in the center of the table that had bounced off his forehead. Sam sighed inwardly as he took the napkin from Donna.

"I'm sorry Sam."Donna began as she looked sternly at her daughter then back at Seaborn. "She's almost two...."

"No problem."Sam replied with a grin as he continued to wipe sauce off his forehead. "Josh, you might want to enlist her in t-ball as soon as possible. She's got one heck of an arm."

Josh laughed as he reached over and took Rachel out of her highchair so she could sit in his lap. "I'll keep that in mind."He looked at Donna. "What do you think, love, first female pitcher of the national baseball league?"

"Cubs need all the help they can get."Caitlin interjected as she reached over and gently peeled a wayward piece of spaghetti off of Sam's collar.

"Rachel can do whatever she likes as long as she's happy."Donna replied quietly as she stood and headed toward the ladies room.

"I'll go check on her."Caitlin stated as she stood. Before she left she handed her clean napkin to Sam who took it gratefully.

Josh looked at Seaborn blankly. "What did I say?"

Sam shook his head sadly. "You don't realize you said it do you?"

"What?"Josh asked as he shifted Rachel to a more comfortable position.

"You called her 'love'."Sam replied quietly. "You've got to make up your mind Josh. Do you want her in your life or don't you?"

Josh winced and pulled Rachel tighter to him. "You don't know all of it, Sam."He replied hoarsely.

"So tell me."Sam urged as he leaned forward on the table gingerly avoiding putting his elbow in the spaghetti mess on the table.

*********

end of part 8 TBC

 


	9. Chances 9

Title: Chances 

Author: Cindy Brewer 

Disclaimer: I don't own the West Wing characters but the ones you don't recognize are mine.:) 

Rating: PG 

Author's notes: This story is set five years from West Wing's first season. For purposes of this story's timeline Bartlet didn't win reelection. 

Many thanks to Amanda for letting me borrow Caitlin and for her valuable input on this story.:) Single '' quotation marks indicate a flashback.

 

"I know he didn't realize he was saying it."Donna stated between sniffles as Caitlin handed her a Kleenex. "But for a minute there I forgot everything.....it seemed like we were a family again."

"I think Josh has a lot of searching to do about this."Caitlin replied softly as she leaned against the sink. "That slip showed volumes how much he still cares about you...."

Donna shook her head as she wiped the tears away. "It's just history between us now, Cait. History and Rachel nothing more...."

"I wouldn't bet on that just yet."The former first daughter replied reassuringly as she placed a hand on her friend's shoulder. "Let's go back and finish dinner."

Donna nodded and followed her friend out of the room.

********

"Josh there's just no way....."Sam stated firmly not believing what he was hearing.

Lyman shook his head. "You weren't there to see how cozy they were, Sam."

"They were high school sweethearts, Josh. That doesn't mean that anything will happen now or did."Seaborn replied as he took a bite of his fettuccini.

"Seemed like every time I came home he was there. What else was I supposed to think?"Josh asked bitterly as he reached down and picked up a fork that Rachel had thrown onto the floor.

"You should've given her the benefit of the doubt, Josh."Sam replied quietly as he met his friend's gaze. "This is Donna Moss we're talking about here. She's been at your side through the shooting and everything that followed in the last five years. Do you really think she'd throw it all away for a one night stand with an old flame?"

Donna and Caitlin returned to the table and the rest of the meal was spent in awkward small talk.

It was nearly seven when Caitlin gently kicked Sam in his right shin to get his attention. With a slight shake of her head Caitlin gestured toward Josh and Donna and then motioned to her watch with her free hand.

Sam nodded as he looked over at Josh. "Thanks for dinner, buddy, been a long time since we've done this. But it's been a long day and I should get to the hotel and check in before they throw out my reservation."

Donna glanced up. "You're more than welcome to stay with me, Sam. There's plenty of room."

Sam smiled at her as he reached over and gently placed a hand on her shoulder. "Thanks for the offer, Donna, but I think Caitlin and I should get out of your hair and give you and Rachel some peace and quiet."

Donna nodded as she glanced at Caitlin. "Are you going to stop by and pick up your stuff?"

Caitlin shook her head. "I can get that tomorrow if that's okay."

Donna nodded understanding completely that they wanted to be alone. She remembered all too well what that point in a relationship was like. She stole a glance at Josh and was surprised to see him watching her. /Maybe Caitlin's right....maybe there's still some spark left./

"That's fine."Donna replied as she met Josh's gaze. "I should be getting Rachel home anyway....almost her bedtime."

Josh glanced down at his daughter for a long moment. But then stood and silently handed her to Donna.

Donna took Rachel and glanced over at Caitlin. "I'll walk you out."

Sam signaled the waiter for their check and the man brought it promptly.

"Okay."Caitlin replied as she stood. She paused and glanced back at Sam. "I'll call a cab from my cell phone."

"I'll be out in a few minutes."Sam commented as he handed his credit card to the waiter.

***********

end of part 9 TBC


	10. Chances 10

Title: Chances 

Author: Cindy Brewer 

Disclaimer: I don't own the West Wing characters but the ones you don't recognize are mine.:) 

Rating: PG 

Author's notes: This story is set five years from West Wing's first season. For purposes of this story's timeline Bartlet didn't win reelection. 

Many thanks to Amanda for letting me borrow Caitlin and for her valuable input on this story.:) Single '' quotation marks indicate a flashback.

 

Outside the restaurant Josh stood away from Caitlin, Sam and Donna as they waited for their respective cabs.

Caitlin let Rachel play with her pinky finger as she glanced from Donna to Josh and back again.

"Donna."Caitlin suggested quietly. "Why don't you invite him back to the house for coffee or something? You two have so much to talk about."

"I know."Donna agreed softly as she glanced down at her daughter and then over at her estranged husband. "But its obvious from where he's standing that he doesn't want anything more to do with me or with Rachel."

"That's not true, Donna."Sam interjected. "You saw how he was with Rachel during dinner."

Donna nodded as she gently handed Rachel to Sam. "I guess one of us has to at least try. For Rachel's sake if nothing else. We used to be good friends.....maybe we can at least get that back."

Caitlin smiled lovingly at her husband as he shifted Rachel to a more comfortable position.

"What?"Sam asked with a grin.

Caitlin shook her head. "Nothing......you two just look so cute together."

Sam laughed. "Is that a hint that you think I'm father material?"

Caitlin grinned as she reached over to kiss Sam quickly. "I always thought you were."

*********

A half hour later Josh and Donna were back in their home and in their daughter's bedroom. Donna watched from the doorway as Josh placed Rachel in the crib and gently pulled the yellow blanket under her chin.

"Thank you for letting me come back here, Donna."Lyman stated huskily as he leaned on the crib's rail. "This is the thing I miss the most, tucking her in."

"You were always the one who could get her to sleep."Donna replied in a whisper as she moved away from the doorway. "It always takes me a story or two."

Donna moved to stand at the foot of the crib her gaze never leaving her daughter's sleeping form. "What happened with us Josh?"

Josh sighed as he stood. He leaned in and tousled his daughter's hair once more before turning to face his estranged wife.

"Let's go downstairs."Lyman replied quietly. "I guess we do have a lot to talk about, don't we?"

*********

"Do you want coffee or something stronger?"Donna asked quietly as she stepped into the kitchen.

Josh sat down on the sofa. "Coffee's fine."He replied as he had to shift position. Feeling around in the cushions behind him Josh pulled out one of Rachel's toys.....a ballerina doll with brown hair. One of her favorite toys....or at least it had been the last time he was home.

Josh shook his head sadly as he set the doll gently onto the coffee table in front of him. His brief visit with Rachel had been the only pleasant thing about the last time he'd been home. After the 'fire' things had calmed down and they had made an attempt to reconcile, which Josh thought had been going smoothly. Then he had, had to go give a lecture at Harvard and when he returned they had one of their biggest fights ever.

\----------

Josh wearily plunked his key into the lock of his home and pushed the door inward. The house was dark except for a light coming from the living room. Josh smiled slightly as he dropped the suitcase in the hallway....no matter how many times he told her she didn't have to Donna always waited up for him. As he poked his head into the living room he expected to find her asleep, curled up on the sofa. Instead Josh found her talking quietly with a man who Donna claimed was a friend.

'What the hell is he doing here, Donna?! It's nearly one in the morning.'

Donna turned on the sofa so she could face her husband. Dan Collins stood moving awkwardly to the far end of the sofa.

'You may want to reset your watch for Central Time, Josh, before you start throwing accusations.'

Josh glared at her as he stepped into the room. 'I was in Boston not Japan....there's not that much of a time difference. What if Rachel woke up? Would you have even noticed?'

Donna slapped him hard across the face as tears started to flow. 'That's an unfair thing to say and you know it, Joshua!'

'I should be going.'Dan stated as he reached for his leather coat that was laying on one of the chairs near the fireplace. He turned to face Donna. 'Thanks for all your support, Donna......it means a lot.'

'I bet it does.'Josh replied sarcastically.

Collins glanced warily at Lyman. 'Call me if you need anything. I'll be in town for a few more days.'

'Don't come here again.'Josh ordered angrily.

'That's Donna's choice.'Dan replied quietly as he opened the front door and exited the home.

When Josh returned to the living room he found his wife leaning against the end of the couch arms crossed over her chest.

'That little display of trust just showed that there is nothing left to salvage between us, Josh.'Donna stated sadly. 'I don't know how you could possibly think I would ever betray you.'

\----------

Josh winced at the memory as he glanced over at Donna as she poured coffee into two purple mugs. Lyman stood and met her half way taking one of the mugs from her. As their hands brushed Josh felt the familiar spark that was always between them. Taking a deep breath Josh closed his hand gently over her free one and led her over to the sofa.


	11. Chances 11

Title: Chances 

Author: Cindy Brewer  

Disclaimer: I don't own the West Wing characters but the ones you don't recognize are mine.:) 

Rating: PG 

Author's notes: This story is set five years from West Wing's first season. For purposes of this story's timeline Bartlet didn't win reelection. 

Many thanks to Amanda for letting me borrow Caitlin and for her valuable input on this story.:) Single '' quotation marks indicate a flashback.

 

Donna blinked in surprise at the gesture but didn't comment. She silently placed her mug down next to his on the small table. As they sat down both of their gazes locked on the doll lying between the two mugs.

The familiar closeness between them had Josh thinking for a brief moment that they were okay again. That their family was intact and happy......that the last six months had only been a nightmare.

"After everything, Josh......how could you not trust me?"Donna whispered breaking the silence.

Josh sighed his gaze not moving from his daughter's doll. "I honestly don't know, Donna. Maybe it was the jealousy not letting me think straight. It seemed like every time I came home the two of you were together."

Donna let go of his hand and turned to look out the window. 'You know that nothing ever happened between Dan and I. He's a close friend of mine who's marriage was in trouble and he needed someone to talk to....that's all."

"That's not what it looked like."Josh replied more curtly than he had intended to.

Donna glared at him. "You only saw what you wanted to see, Josh. It seemed almost like you were looking for an excuse to break up our marriage.....our family......"Donna's voice broke but she swallowed hard and continued. "Why? What did I ever do to make you so angry.....you loved me once Josh....trust and love are supposed to go together."

"Trust has been kinda hard to come by lately."Josh stated as he met her gaze. He was doing his best to control his temper. "I know I've been traveling a lot lately but tonight was the most time we've spent alone in months. Every time I came home you were always working or with him."

"You could've said something, Josh."Donna replied angrily. "Any kind of a hint that you wanted to work things out and I would've dropped everything."

Josh whirled to face her. "Would you have? Would you have left Collins standing by the curb if I had scheduled something for us at the same time?"

Donna's eyes narrowed sharply as she stood. "I could've raised the trust issue a long time ago, Josh, but I didn't. It never even crossed my mind that you might have a different women in every city that you visited."

Josh blanched slightly. "I would never cheat on you, Donnatella."

Donna shook her head sadly. "So why is it so easy for you to think I could?"

Josh's mind scrambled for the right words. "Because there were signs....."

Donna blinked in surprise. "Signs of what, Josh? Hell, you didn't even know I had feelings for you until Bartlet had been in office for three years and Joey left you high and dry for Senator Watson."

"I did have feelings for you then, Donna."Josh replied quietly. "I just wasn't sure what exactly they were."

"You knew."Donna snapped. "You just didn't want to rock the political boat."

Josh stared at her. "You think the reason why I waited so long was because I didn't want to cause political conflict?"

"Either that or you were just more dense than anyone thought, Josh."Donna replied struggling to keep her voice low for her daughter's sake. But she remembered all too clearly the confused and hurt feelings she had during that time in the White House. Never sure if Josh was just her boss, her friend or a prospective romantic relationship.

"I'm not like that, Donna."Josh replied angrily. "I would never risk hurting anybody to further my career."

"Maybe that's why we're failing now, Joshua."Donna stated sadly as she turned and headed toward the stairs."Maybe we waited too long.....known each other too long and we're just tired of each other."

"Donna...."Josh began not quite sure how to respond.

Pausing briefly Donna turned back to face Josh. "I believe you know the way out."She stated in a voice filled with quiet anger before she ran up the stairs.

**********

Around nine the next morning Sam and Caitlin sat at an outside table in a small restaurant on Navy Pier. The weather was warm and sunny for early September, Labor Day weekend had come and gone but people weren't quite ready to let go of summer yet.

As they waited for their meals Sam and Caitlin each read a section of the morning paper.

"So what enlightenment does Toby have for us this morning?"Caitlin asked as she glanced over at her husband. Since leaving his White House job as communications director Toby Ziegler had become a professor at Columbia University as well as a writer for a highly popular widely syndicated political newspaper column.

"Usual."Seaborn replied with a grin not looking up from the column. "He's trashing Bowen's clean air bill citing that it does as much help for the environment as the political campaign reform bill did for campaign corruptness."

Caitlin laughed as she recalled Toby's previous columns attacking the current republican president. "Sounds like Toby's in rare form."


	12. Chances 12

Title: Chances 

Author: Cindy Brewer 

Disclaimer: I don't own the West Wing characters but the ones you don't recognize are mine.:) 

Rating: PG 

Author's notes: This story is set five years from West Wing's first season. For purposes of this story's timeline Bartlet didn't win reelection. 

Many thanks to Amanda for letting me borrow Caitlin and for her valuable input on this story.:) Single '' quotation marks indicate a flashback.

 

"So what enlightenment does Toby have for us this morning?"Caitlin asked as she glanced over at her husband. Since leaving his White House job as communications director Toby Ziegler had become a professor at Columbia University as well as a writer for a highly popular widely syndicated political newspaper column.

"Usual."Seaborn replied with a grin not looking up from the column. "He's trashing Bowen's clean air bill citing that it does as much help for the environment as the political campaign reform bill did for campaign corruptness."

Caitlin laughed as she recalled Toby's previous columns attacking the current republican president. "Sounds like Toby's in rare form."

The waitress returned with their meals and then left the check on the table so the young couple could leave at their leisure.

"So what are your plans for today?"Caitlin asked as she took a bite of French toast.

Sam set the paper down and reached over to take his wife's free hand. "I was hoping we could squeeze in some sight seeing while we're here. I didn't see much of Chicago when we were here during the primaries."

"Great idea."Caitlin replied with a smile as she squeezed his hand. "I just have to stop over at Donna's and get my stuff....and I want to check on her."

"How do you think last night went?"Sam asked as he took a sip of orange juice.

Caitlin shook her head. "I'm hoping it went well and everything's fine now but after what we saw between them last night I just have this bad feeling that it's going to get a hell of a lot worse before it gets any better."

"You know they have a hearing date, right?"Sam asked as he scooped up a forkful of scrambled eggs.

Caitlin nodded sadly. 'Yeah, Donna told me it was set for Friday. Which means we have just over three days to make them come to their senses."

The rest of the meal was spent talking about mutual friends from the White House days and possible sight seeing sites. As Sam paid the check his cellular phone rang.

Seaborn stepped away a few feet as he answered the phone. "Seaborn?"

"Hi Pete, what's up?"

"Whoa...slow down....who erased what disk?"

Caitlin glanced over at her husband with concern....selfishly hoping that he didn't have to leave.

"Take deep breaths, Peter, remember your asthma. I think I still have a copy of that file on my lap top. I'll head back to the hotel now and check."

"Yes I'll fax it to you as soon as possible. I'll call you in a few."

"Something wrong?"Caitlin asked as they stepped out of the restaurant.

Sam chuckled. "You know how Peter gets in full crisis mode."

Caitlin laughed as she pictured Sam's good friend and law partner Peter Dorsey. "He just worries too much about little things. So what was the crisis this week?"

"Sarah accidentally erased a file from Pete's computer when she thought she was copying it."Sam replied with a shake of his head. "And of course he needs that file for a ten o'clock deposition. If you want to stay here and shop I'll fax Pete the file and meet you back here."

Caitlin shook her head. "No I'll come with. I want to check on Josh since we haven't heard from him yet this morning."

Sam placed an arm around his wife as they started walking toward the entrance of the pier. "Not hearing from him could be a good sign."

Caitlin nodded. "I know, Sam, but I love Josh like the brother I never had. And I can't help but think of how he was after we lost reelection."

"We were all upset about that, Caitie."Sam replied quietly as he signaled for a cab.

"But Josh seemed to be affected by it the most."Caitlin stated sadly.

\----------

Caitlin stood in the doorway to the famous Oval Office as the final poll results came in. She was as numb as everyone else on her father's senior staff. Up until six months ago the reelection of President Josiah Bartlet had been a sure thing. Now it was a sure thing that there would be a Republican in the White House in January.

"I just don't believe it!"Josh shouted as he picked up a sofa cushion and threw it across the room narrowly missing Toby in the process. 'How did it come down to this?'

'Fate.'Sam interjected quietly from his position near the glass doors.

'That's too simple an answer for this, Sam.'CJ said softly as she paced a small area from the door to the sofa and back again. 'We have to think back and find out what we did that caused Hoynes to jump ship and run on the Democratic ticket against us.'

'John and I never had an easy friendship from the beginning, CJ.'Josiah Bartlet said from his chair behind the desk speaking for the first time all evening. 'I should've done more to smooth things over.'

'Should've's and could've's aren't going to fix this.'Leo replied angrily as he paused near the sofa. 'All we've worked for in the past four years will be forgotten in this election. All the voters will see and have thought of is the fact that this administration has fallen apart and they want change. That folks is why Bowen is going to be sitting in this office next year and not us.'

\-----------

Caitlin Seaborn knocked on the door of Josh's hotel room thinking belatedly that she should've called first. He could be down in the restaurant getting something to eat or going for a swim......

A couple minutes later a disheveled looking Josh Lyman opened the door. His light brown suit was rumpled and his tie askew giving every indication that if Josh had slept at all he'd slept in his clothes.

"Josh...."Caitlin began as she reached out to touch his shoulder.

Josh backed away opening the door further so Caitlin could step into the room. "Please Cait, no lectures."

Caitlin shook her head as she followed her friend into the room. "I wasn't going to give one."

"Good."Josh replied as he sank heavily down onto the corner of the bed.

end of pt.12 TBC


	13. Chances 13

Title: Chances 

Author: Cindy Brewer 

Disclaimer: I don't own the West Wing characters but the ones you don't recognize are mine.:) 

Rating: PG 

Author's notes: This story is set five years from West Wing's first season. For purposes of this story's timeline Bartlet didn't win reelection. 

Many thanks to Amanda for letting me borrow Caitlin and for her valuable input on this story.:) Single '' quotation marks indicate a flashback.

 

"Did you sleep at all?"Caitlin asked quietly as she sat down next to him placing a gentle hand on his shoulder.

Josh shrugged. "Not sure....don't think so."

"How did last night go?"Caitlin asked softly.

Josh sighed as he stood and walked over to the window where the drapes were half drawn. "I tried Cait I really did. But we ended up having a fight."

"About what?"Caitlin asked as she stood.

Josh shook his head as he turned to face her. "We dredged up a lot of stuff from the past that we probably didn't need to. I threw her friendship with Collins in her face and she brought up how rocky the beginning of our relationship was....and it snowballed from there."

"Josh, you two love each other more than any two people I know."Caitlin replied wincing inwardly as she realized she sounded like a cheesy soap opera.

"I don't think love's enough any more, Cait."

Caitlin sat down next to her friend her mind scrambling to come up with a viable arguement."But you do still love her, don't you?"

Josh nodded miserably."Which is what makes this so damn hard. My family means the world to me, Cait."

"If that's true, Josh how can you tear it apart so easily?"Caitlin asked quietly.

Josh glared at her. "She's the one who destroyed it."

Caitlin blinked in surprise. "Josh, listen to yourself. Donna would never cheat on you. She had no reason to. She loves you and treasures the life you two have built."

Josh stood. "There's no marriage without trust."

Caitlin stood and crossed over to Josh touching his left arm lightly. "Josh, you have a law degree....you worked for four years in the White House. What facts do you have that Donna betrayed you?"

Josh rubbed his temple tiredly. "I know what I saw, Caitlin."

"Which was?"Caitlin asked.

Josh's eyes narrowed sharply. "They were always together, Cait. She doesn't have to spell it out for me."

"Maybe she does."Caitlin snapped the situation finally getting the better of her temper. "They dated each other once a long time ago. That doesn't mean anything happened "

"Why else would they spend so much time together?"Josh countered stalking over to the window.

"We spend time together, Josh."Caitlin replied as she followed him to the window.

"That's different."Josh retorted

"Why?"Caitlin asked hoping she was making some progress."What's the difference between Donna and Dan and you and me?"

"You and I never slept together."Josh stated quietly.

"Is that what all this is really about?"Caitlin asked not believing how stubborn her friend could be. "You've convinced yourself that they had a one night stand?"

"I didn't need any convincing, Caitlin."Josh snapped as he moved past her and yanked a clean suit from the closet. "I know what I saw. Now if you'll excuse me I have to get ready for a meeting with my attorney."

"Josh....."Caitlin began as she stepped forward but Josh moved into the bathroom and slammed the door shut.

********

"How'd it go?"Sam asked quietly as his wife returned to their room but from the expression on Caitlin's face Sam already knew the answer.

Sam quickly set the stack of computer printout he was holding down on the bed and crossed over to Caitlin drawing her into an embrace.

"I think I made it worse."Caitlin whispered as she buried her face in Sam's chest.

"You could never make anything worse."Sam replied softly as he gently stroked her back.

Caitlin laughed bitterly as she pulled back slightly so she could meet her husband's gaze. "I love you for saying that but you weren't standing in that room."

Sam stepped back and gently took Caitlin's hand and led her over to the bed where they sat down. "So tell me what happened."

Caitlin sighed as she leaned over and rested her head on Sam's shoulder. "I thought I was finally making some headway with him, Sam."

"Did you get him to open up?"Seaborn asked knowing of the special bond between Caitlin and Josh.

Caitlin nodded. "I've never seen him like this, Sam. He's so convinced that Donna slept with Dan that I couldn't say anything to make him believe other wise."

"So we're back to square one."Sam surmised sadly as he pulled Caitlin closer.

"Why is he throwing this all away, Sam?"Caitlin asked in a voice barely above a whisper.

Sam sighed. "I wish I knew, Caitie. I wish I knew."

end of part 13 TBC


	14. Chances 14

Title: Chances 

Author: Cindy Brewer 

Disclaimer: I don't own the West Wing characters but the ones you don't recognize are mine.:) 

Rating: PG 

Author's notes: This story is set five years from West Wing's first season. For purposes of this story's timeline Bartlet didn't win reelection. 

Many thanks to Amanda for letting me borrow Caitlin and for her valuable input on this story.:) Single '' quotation marks indicate a flashback.

 

A few minutes later Caitlin left to go visit with Donna and Sam sat staring at his laptop computer. He'd already faxed the file to Peter that he needed but Sam had decided to try and get some work done. Not that any work was getting accomplished all Sam could think of was Donna and Josh and the pain that his closest friends were putting themselves through.

With determination Sam closed the file he was working on and opened his address book. He found the number he was looking for and reached over for the phone on the nightstand.

It was time to call in some reinforcements.

********

When Caitlin arrived at Josh and Donna's home Donna quietly let her friend in. Caitlin could tell Donna hadn't slept at all the night before.

"I'm sorry, Donna."Caitlin whispered as Donna picked Rachel up out of her playpen and carried her over to the sofa.

"It's not your fault, Cait."Donna replied as she sat down. "You were only trying to help."

Caitlin handed Rachel a small stuffed duck she had found on the floor beside the coffee table before sitting down. "Maybe I shouldn't have suggested that you two talk alone."

Donna shook her head as she gently stroked her daughter's hair. "No, it was a good idea. We needed to talk we just didn't get anywhere."

Caitlin glanced down at her hands slightly uncomfortable. "I talked with Josh earlier."

"How is he?"Donna asked quietly not looking away from Rachel.

"As upset as you are."Caitlin replied as she turned to face her friend. "And I think I finally got to the bottom of what's really bothering him."

Donna looked up sharply. "What?"

Caitlin sighed. "Donna, he's convinced himself that you and Dan slept together. I tried to tell him it wasn't true but no matter what I said he didn't believe me."

Donna leaned back against the sofa and closed her eyes. "There's a reason why he didn't believe you."

"Donna....."Caitlin began a little more sharply than she had intended to.

"It's not what you think, Cait."Donna replied quietly as she opened her eyes. "We didn't sleep together but I can see how Josh might think that we had."

*******

The phone rang four times in the small Virginia home before it was answered.

"Hello?"Leo McGarry asked as he carried the cordless phone into the living room.

"Leo? It's Sam Seaborn."Sam said quietly as he got up from the bed and walked over to the living room.

"Sam, great to hear from you."Leo replied warmly as he sat down on the sofa. "How's Caitlin?" "She's fine."Seaborn commented as he leaned against the window frame. "Just a guess you haven't heard from Josh in six months."

Leo frowned. "Yeah, why? What's he done now?"

"I'm in Chicago with Caitlin."Sam replied softly."Josh has filed for divorce and for full custody of Rachel."

McGarry stood. "What the hell brought that on?"

Sam shook his head. "Not sure, Leo. Caitlin and I have both tried to talk to him until we're blue in the face but he's convinced that Donna cheated on him and he's determined to go through with this custody hearing. I think he'll listen to you."

Leo shook his head in amazement. "I'll make him listen to me How could he possibly think that Donna would cheat on him?"

"That's what we're trying to figure out."Sam replied as he walked back toward the small desk. "I really appreciate this Leo."

Leo reached for a pad and pen that was sitting on the coffee table. "Don't worry about it, Sam. You know you four are like family to me. Where's the knucklehead staying?"

Sam grinned slightly. "Josh is staying at the same hotel we are. I'll give you the number."

*********

Donna glanced down at Rachel. "Your parents have made a mess of things, sweetie."She said softly.

"What happened that made Josh file for divorce, Donna?"Caitlin asked as she picked up the stuffed tiger from the floor that Rachel had dropped.

"A few weeks after the 'fire' things had calmed down a bit and Josh and I were trying to reconcile."Donna began quietly. "Then Josh had to go to Boston to give one of his lectures. When he came home late one night he found Dan and I in the living room. We were just talking but with the late hour Josh jumped to the wrong conclusion and we had one of our biggest fights ever.

The next morning I went to Dan's hotel room to apologize for dragging him into the middle of this mess. I decided to take the El downtown but unfortunately Mother Nature was against me. It started to pour as soon as I stepped off the train and of course I didn't have an umbrella. By the time I got to Dan's hotel room I was soaked to the skin. He invited me in and offered the use of his shower.....little did I realize that Josh had decided to stop by Dan's......he arrived a few minutes after I had gotten into the shower....."

"Oh man."Caitlin replied picturing what Josh had walked in on.

"Exactly."Donna commented sadly. "And Josh being Josh jumped to the wrong conclusion before I could say a word."

\----------

/I'm Mr. Popularity this morning./Dan Collins thought wryly as there was a knock on his door for the second time in thirty minutes. /And it's not even ten o'clock yet./ Collins barely had the door halfway open before Josh Lyman pushed his way into the room.

'What the hell do you want?'Collins demanded as Josh came to a stop in the center of the room.

'I think I made that clear last night.'Josh replied darkly his hands balling into fists. He didn't know why he was here....he had never considered himself to be a jealous person. But he had to know if he was losing Donna and she wasn't giving him any answers.

'Yes you did.'Collins stated firmly risking a glance at the closed bathroom door. 'So why are you here? Didn't have the nerve to bash my face in last night so you're going to do it now?'

"Does your wife know that you're flirting with mine?'Josh asked as he took a step forward. 'Maybe I should call her.'

Dan's eyes narrowed sharply. 'Donna and I are just friends.....'

'Spare me the 'just friends' speech.'Josh snapped. 'I've heard it enough times I can recite it.'

'So why are you here?'Dan asked growing weary of the conversation and wanting to get Lyman out as fast as possible before Donna got out of the shower.

'To find out the real reason you've been so buddy buddy with my wife.'Josh replied coldly.

Donna shut the water off as raised voices drifted into the bathroom. She froze as she recognized Josh's voice....what the hell was he doing here? She quickly stepped out of the shower and grabbed the robe that was hanging on the back of the bathroom door. Donna tied the sash praying that she could stop Josh before he and Dan came to blows. She stepped out of the bathroom forgetting her appearance for the moment. A huge mistake Donna realized as Josh's eyes settled on her. The hurt that she saw in his eyes nearly took her breath away.

'Josh.....'Donna began as she moved toward her husband.

Josh glared from Donna to Collins and back again. It took all of his will power not to deck the bastard.

'Well I see you two made up for my interruption last night.'Josh replied bitterly as he stalked past Donna and left the room. He slammed the door behind him with such force that it knocked a picture off the wall.

\------------

"I'll never forget his face, Cait."Donna whispered as she pulled Rachel closer.

"Were you able to say anything to him at all?"Caitlin asked quietly as she turned to face her friend.

Donna shook her head. "I tried after I caught up with him in the hallway but that just turned into a bigger fight. I've never seen him that hurt and angry, Cait."

end of part 14 TBC


	15. Chances 15

Title: Chances 

Author: Cindy Brewer 

Disclaimer: I don't own the West Wing characters but the ones you don't recognize are mine.:) 

Rating: PG 

Author's notes: This story is set five years from West Wing's first season. For purposes of this story's timeline Bartlet didn't win reelection. 

Many thanks to Amanda for letting me borrow Caitlin and for her valuable input on this story.:) Single '' quotation marks indicate a flashback.

 

Josh stared down at the triplicate forms on the oak table in front of him and paused. The fancy ball point pen hovering just above the place at the bottom where he was supposed to sign.

"Is there a problem with the forms, Josh?"Attorney Steven Burnel asked from the other side of the table.

Startled from his thoughts Josh glanced up at the red haired man in his early fifties. "No....no problem."

"Kind of daunting isn't it?"Burnel asked as he sat down and folded his hands in front of him. "Being the client."

Josh's gaze traveled back to the final custody petition decree in front of him. "Yeah....yeah it is."

"I know this is a difficult time for you, Josh."Burnel began quietly. "But if we're to go ahead with the custody hearing on Friday the judge needs to have these documents."

"I know."Josh replied not being able to force away the memory of Rachel's birth and the first time Donna handed their daughter to him.

'Josh....you're not going to break her.'

'She's so tiny.....'

'Babies usually are, Joshua.'

"Josh, if you need a few more minutes I have a couple calls to make. I can do that and come back."Burnel offered as he stood.

Josh swallowed hard and shook his head forcing the pen downwards. "No, Steven.....no more time. I want this over as quick as possible."

"Alright then."Burnel replied as he picked up another legal form. "Sign that one and this one will speed up the divorce a little."

Josh signed the custody petition and shoved it aside before he could change his mind. He glanced at the paper Steven was holding and recognized it as a Marital Dissolution agreement....the last step before the final divorce decree.

********

Caitlin reached over and gently took Rachel. "I have an idea....Sam wanted to go site seeing today. Why don't you come with us?"

Donna shook her head as she reached for a box of kleenex on the coffee table "I wouldn't be very good company."

Caitlin grabbed Donna's right hand and gently pulled her friend to her feet. "No arguments, Donna. You and Rachel are coming with us. It'll do you both good."

"Okay."Donna replied quietly as she went to grab her coat and gather a few things for Rachel.

********

"You might want to look over this one again and make sure my math skills are correct."Burnel stated as he handed Josh the Marital Dissolution agreement.

Josh stared at the document for a long moment still not quite believing what was happening. When he and Donna had first fallen in love Josh had thought it was forever. Now here he was in an attorney's office filling out forms to take their daughter away from her mother and end the marriage.

With a sharp shake of his head Josh slammed the pen down and scrawled his name in the correct places. "I'm sure it's fine, Steven."He replied as he stood abruptly and handed the documents back to Burnel."I'll see you on Friday."

Burnel nodded as he gathered the documents and placed them in a folder. "I'll fax these to Donna's attorney. You look like hell, Josh. Try to get some sleep."

"Yeah."Josh replied as he picked up his coat and left the office.

*******

end of part 15 TBC


	16. Chances 16

Title: Chances 

Author: Cindy Brewer 

Disclaimer: I don't own the West Wing characters but the ones you don't recognize are mine.:) 

Rating: PG 

Author's notes: This story is set five years from West Wing's first season. For purposes of this story's timeline Bartlet didn't win reelection. 

Many thanks to Amanda for letting me borrow Caitlin and for her valuable input on this story.:) Single '' quotation marks indicate a flashback.

 

Sam took Rachel from Donna as the two women entered the hotel room. He smiled at the little girl as she started to play with his tie.

"Hi Donna."Sam greeted as the trio moved to the center of the room.

"Hi Sam."Donna replied. "Cait invited me to go with you guys sight seeing....hope I'm not crashing in on anything."

Sam glanced at his wife before meeting Donna's gaze. "You're always welcome, Donna."

Donna flashed her friend a grateful smile. She appreciated what they were trying to do she really did.

Donna crossed over to the window and looked out at the city skyline. "So do you guys have anything particular in mind?"She asked a little too brightly as she turned away from the window. "When Josh and I first moved here we tried to go some place different every weekend. It was our little adventure every week. So I can probably play tour guide to anywhere you want to go in the city."

Caitlin glanced at her watch. "Well it's almost one now.....why don't we head down to Michigan Avenue and do some window shopping then we can grab some dinner."

Sam looked down at Rachel with a grin. "No Italian."

Donna laughed for the first time in days as she reached over and took Rachel. "Okay....no Italian...no ammo for Rachel."

******

An hour later found the three friends ducking in and out of shops along the busy Chicago shopping district. Donna's spirit had lightened considerably as the day progressed. She couldn't remember the last time she had laughed so much in the course of a day.

Suddenly Donna spotted something in a store window a few doors down. She shifted Rachel to a more secure position in her left arm and grabbed Sam's hand with the other.

"Donna...."Sam protested as he glanced helplessly back at Caitlin who was struggling to keep up in the large crowd.

"Relax, Sam."Donna replied as they stopped in front of the small store. "I've found the perfect clothing item for you."

Sam did a double take at the window display just as Caitlin caught up with them.

"What's going on, Donna?"Caitlin asked slightly out of breath.

Donna grinned as she gestured toward the store window. "I just found the perfect clothing item for your husband, Cait."

Caitlin looked in the window and laughed out loud. "Oh Sam, it's so you."

Sam shook his head firmly as he stared in disbelief at the bright orange leather pants. "No way in hell."

Caitlin grinned as she grabbed Sam by the shoulder and ushered him into the store. "Oh live a little, Seaborn. They'll look great on you."

"Caitie, where am I going to wear those?"Sam protested weakly as the two women pulled him over to a store clerk. "I didn't even know they could make leather that color."

end of part 16 TBC


	17. Chances 17

Title: Chances 

Author: Cindy Brewer 

Disclaimer: I don't own the West Wing characters but the ones you don't recognize are mine.:) 

Rating: PG 

Author's notes: This story is set five years from West Wing's first season. For purposes of this story's timeline Bartlet didn't win reelection. 

Many thanks to Amanda for letting me borrow Caitlin and for her valuable input on this story.:) Single '' quotation marks indicate a flashback.

 

As Josh walked down the hotel hallway he heard a phone ringing. As he neared his door Josh realized it was his phone. He quickly shoved the card key into the lock and pushed open the door. Josh sat down on the bed and picked up the phone on the nightstand.

"Lyman?"Josh greeted wearily.

"What the hell are you trying to do?"A familiar voice replied back through the static.

Josh blinked in surprise. "Leo?"

"You file for divorce and single handedly destroy your family and you don't talk to any one?"McGarry continued as he sat in his den.

Josh sighed as leaned back against the pillows. "Should've known Sam would call you."

"How else was I going to find out about this?"Leo replied gruffly. "You obviously weren't going to call."

"What do you want, Leo?"Josh asked quietly not having any energy at the moment to fight with anyone.

"To make you come to your senses and go back to Donna."Leo stated firmly. "She's a good women Josh and for the life of me I can't figure why you'd do this."

"She betrayed me, Leo."Josh replied bluntly.

"How?"Leo asked surprise clearly in his voice.

"I found her in a hotel room with an old flame."Josh replied bitterly.

McGarry frowned.....now he understood the urgency of Sam's earlier call. "We are talking about the same Donna Moss here aren't we? The one who's been by your side for the past seven years."

"I know what I saw Leo."Josh replied indignantly.

"So tell me what happened?"McGarry asked.

"It's all such a mess, Leo."Josh whispered.

"Start at the beginning and tell me what started this."

********

"I still can't believe I let you buy these."Sam stated as the three friends sat in a small diner type restaurant. "Did you even see the price tag, Caitie?"

His wife grinned as she glanced at the large shopping bag in the empty chair next to Sam. "You only live once,Sam."

"I'll need to have two lives to get out of the credit card debt this put me in."Seaborn replied gruffly but a smile was starting to appear. The humiliation of trying the orange leather pants on at the store had been worth it to see Donna smile.

Caitlin reached over and took Sam's hand in hers. "You liked the way they felt and you know it."

"But you have to admit getting the entire store's opinion of how they looked was a bit over the top."Sam replied as he glanced over at Donna who was feeding Rachel.

Donna laughed. "Everybody did have very nice things to say, Sam."

"That's beside the point."Sam muttered as he took a bite of his cheeseburger.

end of part 17 TBC


	18. Chances 18

Title: Chances 

Author: Cindy Brewer 

Disclaimer: I don't own the West Wing characters but the ones you don't recognize are mine.:) 

Rating: PG 

Author's notes: This story is set five years from West Wing's first season. For purposes of this story's timeline Bartlet didn't win reelection. 

Many thanks to Amanda for letting me borrow Caitlin and for her valuable input on this story.:) Single '' quotation marks indicate a flashback.

 

"We had almost got things back on track, Leo."Josh stated sadly as he sat up. "Then I came back from a trip and found Collins there late."

"Josh, you know Donna wears her heart on her sleeve always has."Leo replied. "If an old friend of hers was in trouble she'd drop everything to help no matter who it was."

"Well she did drop everything."Josh said bitterly as he rubbed a weary hand over her face. "About two weeks later I found her in Collins hotel room wearing nothing but a bath robe."

"There had to be an explanation, Josh."Leo commented quietly. "Why would she wait till now to cheat on you?"

"She tried to explain when she caught me in the hallway."Josh replied as the memory came back full force. "But I didn't give her a chance.....all I knew was that my family was slipping away and I couldn't do a damn thing about it."

\----------

'Josh!'Donna called frantically as she stepped out of Dan's hotel room. 'Please wait.'

Josh was almost to the elevator at the end of the hall. He whirled around, eyes narrowing dangerously.'Why the hell should I, Donna? You've obviously made your choice.'

Donna blinked in surprise as she caught up with him. 'Choice? What choice are you talking about? Dan and I are just....'

'Friends.'Josh finished bitterly.'I'm not blind, Donna.'

'No, but you are stupid sometimes, Josh.'Donna replied angrily. 'How could you think after everything that we've been through together that I would betray you in this way?!'

'Stupid?'Josh shouted as he approached his wife. '*I'm* stupid? I'm not the one who threw away our family for one night in the sack with an old flame!'

'I don't know you any more.'Donna replied quietly.

Tears began to flow down Donna's cheeks and she made no effort to stop them.

'Believe whatever you want, Josh!'Donna snapped. 'I'm tired of being the only one trying to hold our family together.'

Before Josh could reply Donna whirled around and stalked back to Dan's hotel room. ----------

"Josh,"Leo began softly. "Did you ever stop and think for a second that you might have misread the entire situation?"

"Why?"Josh asked. "She practically admitted that she slept with him."

Leo sighed. "Josh.....was it raining that day?"

"What the hell does the weather have to do with anything?"Josh snapped as he stood.

"I'm just trying to see Donna's side of things."Leo replied. "If she went there for other reasons than you think she might have got caught in a rainstorm, or spilled something on her clothes."

"And what?"Josh asked angrily. "Collins gallantly offered her the use of the shower? Chilvary's dead, Leo."

end of part 18 TBC


	19. Chances 19

Title: Chances 

Author: Cindy Brewer 

Disclaimer: I don't own the West Wing characters but the ones you don't recognize are mine.:) 

Rating: PG 

Author's notes: This story is set five years from West Wing's first season. For purposes of this story's timeline Bartlet didn't win reelection. 

Many thanks to Amanda for letting me borrow Caitlin and for her valuable input on this story.:) Single '' quotation marks indicate a flashback.

 

After lunch the rest of the day pasted quickly for Donna, Sam and Caitlin as they went from one famous Chicago landmark to another. It was just after dusk by the time they arrived back at Josh and Donna's home.

Donna glanced down at Rachel's sleeping form. "I'll put Rachel to bed and be right back."She paused at the foot of the stairs. "Unless you guys have to be going?"

Caitlin and Sam exchanged a glance before Caitlin replied. "No, Donna, we can stay. We don't have any plans for the night."

Sam nodded as he walked toward the stairs and gently took the sleeping toddler from Donna. "Why don't you let me put Rachel down?"

Donna hesitated. "If you're sure....."

Sam grinned as he passed her on the stairs. "She's already asleep, Donna. How hard can it be?"

"Thanks."Donna replied as she stepped down into the living room.

"Today was fun."Caitlin replied as the two friends moved from the living room into the kitchen.

"Yeah it was."Donna acknowledged. "Thanks for letting me come."

"I'm glad you did."Caitlin replied as she leaned on the kitchen counter. "It was good to see you laugh again."

Donna started to reply as she glanced past Caitlin into the living room. It was only then that she noticed the answer machine message light was blinking.

"Let me check my messages, Cait."Donna said as she moved past the counter. "I'll be right back to start the coffee."

"I'll do that."Caitlin replied as she walked into the kitchen.

"Okay."Donna acknowledged as she reached the answering machine and hit play.

'Donna, this is Marilyn Nagy. I just got off the phone with the court clerk. Our hearing's been moved to Thursday at ten. Apparently the Judge who was assigned our case had to go out of town this weekend on a family emergency so he moved it up. I tried to get it changed to next week but there's nothing open. I know this seems rushed, Donna, but everything will be fine, I promise you that. Call me if you have any questions.'

********

Rachel hadn't even stirred when Sam placed her gently into the crib and pulled the blanket over her shoulders.

For a moment Sam just stood there watching the tiny girl sleep. She was so innocent....oblivious to all the pain and hurt feelings that surrounded her every day. When Rachel had been born he'd never seen Josh and Donna happier.

\----------

'Sam, buddy, amigo, have a cigar.'Josh offered as he opened a small box and handed one to Sam as they stood outside the hospital nursery.

Sam grinned at his friend's jubilant mood. 'I don't smoke, Josh, you know that.'

'They're chocolate, Samuel.'Josh replied with a wide grin as he turned and looked into the nursery. There in the first row, third bassinet from the left was his beautiful baby daughter.

'She's gorgeous, Josh.'Sam stated softly as he followed his friend's gaze to the sleeping newborn.

'Yeah.'Lyman replied in an awed whisper.

'You're lucky that she took after Donna.'

\-------------

Seaborn sighed as he leaned against the crib....there just had to be some way he and Caitlin could put the Lyman family back together.

Sam stood and walked toward the door and shut the light off. He turned back to look at Rachel one last time before closing the door behind him.

**********

Donna stared numbly at the answering machine.....Thursday.....everything was going to come to a head on Thursday. In less than forty-eight hours a judge could take her daughter away. Tears started to flow as Donna gripped the edge of the small table that held the answering machine.

"Donna?"Caitlin asked with concern as she saw her friend's shoulders start to shake. She quickly walked into the living room and stood next to her friend.

Donna didn't seem to see her as she crumpled into a sitting position on the floor pulling her knees to her chest.

"Donna.....talk to me."Caitlin pleaded just as Sam came down the stairs.

"What happened?"Sam asked with concern as he took in Donna's devastated state.

"There was a message from her lawyer."Caitlin replied quietly her gaze never leaving her friend's face. "They moved the custody hearing up to Thursday."

"Damn."Sam swore quietly as he plucked a kleenex box from the nearby coffee table and offered it to Donna as he knelt.

Donna's tears had dried for the moment but she didn't acknowledge either Sam or Caitlin as she stared straight ahead at he staircase.

Caitlin glanced at Sam with concern before she sat down next to her friend gently touching Donna's shoulder. "Donna....it's Caitlin....please talk to me."

"I've lost them."Donna whispered sadly.

"No, Donna you haven't."Caitln replied anxiously. "Nothing's been decided yet."

Sam sat down on the other side of Donna. "Caitie's right, Donna. Nothing has been decided yet. I can even help your attorney out....make sure everything's ready by Thursday."

"I've lost my baby."Donna stated quietly still not responding to her friends presence.

Sam looked over at his wife worry shone in his blue eyes. "What should we do, Caitie?"

Caitlin shook her head sadly. "I don't know, Sam. Let's get her over to the sofa and I'll call my Mom."

*******

end of part 19 TBC


	20. Chances 20

Title: Chances 

Author: Cindy Brewer 

Disclaimer: I don't own the West Wing characters but the ones you don't recognize are mine.:) 

Rating: PG 

Author's notes: This story is set five years from West Wing's first season. For purposes of this story's timeline Bartlet didn't win reelection. 

Many thanks to Amanda for letting me borrow Caitlin and for her valuable input on this story.:) Single '' quotation marks indicate a flashback.

 

After Leo's phone call Josh knew he had to get out of that hotel room. He knew Leo had meant well but some of the older man's points had hit too close to home. Causing Josh to remember things he didn't want to remember at that moment. So Josh had left the hotel and started walking combining soul searching with a little sight seeing. Now he stood at the observation deck of the Sears Tower watching the city lights start to appear as night fell.

When he and Donna had first moved to Chicago Josh had felt like his life was at it's lowest point....professionally anyway. He had been happy for Donna when she had gotten the great opportunity to work for Congresswoman Shultz. And after everything that had happened with Hoynes and losing the election Josh had been more than ready to leave D.C.

When Josh had chosen politics as a career his father hadn't been pleased. His father had always planned on Josh coming to work at his firm. But even though Josh had graduated from law school with high honors he had wanted to make a difference in people's lives. More of a difference than he could make as a lawyer. So Josh had worked his way up the rungs of Washington making valuable contacts along the way. But as Josh's career soared his relationship with his father, which had always been strained, started to deteriorate. Josh sighed, one thing he'd never know was if his father would've been proud of his only son working in the White House.

But then Josh knew his father hadn't really forgiven him for Joanie's death.

Joanie.....

Josh startled at the thought as he leaned heavily on the railing. He wondered what Joanie would think of the mess her little brother had become. In a relatively short span of time Josh had failed a lot of people.....

Hoynes blindsiding them causing the fall of the Bartlet administration..... Pushing Donna into another man's arms, which destroyed his family....

Josh shook his head as he stood as if that single motion would keep the memories at bay. As Josh glanced to his right he saw a couple standing a few feet away. The young man's hands were on the woman's waist as he held her close. Obviously so much in love that they didn't see anything but each other.

Josh quickly looked away and headed toward the elevator but it was too late. Memories came flooding back of a time when Donna had looked at him that way.

\-------

'Do you Joshua Tiberous Lyman take Donnatella Marie Moss to be your lawfully wedded wife?"

Josh stared at Donna's beautiful face. Even hidden by her veil he could see the happiness and love that shown in her blue eyes.

'With all my heart.'Josh replied firmly hoping his voice wasn't shaking.

'Do you Donnatella Marie Moss take Joshua Tiberous Lyman to be your lawfully wedded husband?'

'With all my heart and soul.'Donna whispered. 'I know pronounce you husband and wife. Mr. Lyman you may kiss your bride.'

\------------

Josh closed his eyes against the memory as he leaned against the wall of the elevator car as it sped downwards. How the hell had his life gone from perfect bliss to misery?

*******

"Is she asleep?"Abby Bartlet asked as she sat down on the living room sofa.

Caitlin shook her head as she glanced over to where Sam was covering Donna with a blanket.

No."Caitlin replied worriedly as she pressed the cordless phone closer to her ear. "I've never seen her like this, Mom. It's like she's shut down."

end of part 20 TBC


	21. Chances 21

Many thanks for the continued feedback on this story.:)It's helped me get through the occasional writer's block.:)

Title: Chances 

Author: Cindy Brewer 

Disclaimer: I don't own the West Wing characters but the ones you don't recognize are mine.:) 

Rating: PG 

Author's notes: This story is set five years from West Wing's first season. For purposes of this story's timeline Bartlet didn't win reelection. 

Many thanks to Amanda for letting me borrow Caitlin and for her valuable input on this story.:) Single '' quotation marks indicate a flashback

 

Wearily Josh returned to the hotel just after seven. He sat heavily down on the bed for a moment before reaching for the phone. He pushed the number for room service and ordered an over priced cheeseburger very well done. It was only when he hung up that he noticed the blinking message light.

The message was from his attorney Steven Burnel telling him that the custody hearing had been moved up to Thursday at ten. Josh hung up without bothering to call Steven back.....he'd see him at the court house soon enough. Josh picked up the television remote and flipped on an all news channel hoping that something there would distract him from his whirling thoughts and emotions.

********

Sam came to stand next to his wife as Caitlin hung up the cordless phone. "What did your Mom say?"

Caitlin blinked back tears as Sam slipped an arm around her waist drawing her close. "She said that Donna will probably snap out of this on her own."

"Did your Mom think it was a break down?"Sam asked worriedly as he looked back at Donna.

Caitlin shook her head. "No, she said Donna was probably just in shock....everything finally hitting her at once. Mom wanted me to call her back if Donna woke up disoriented."

Sam pulled her into an embrace and rested his head lightly on top of hers. "She'll be okay, Caitie."

Caitlin moved away from her husband and walked over to the kitchen counter and leaned her back against it arms folded protectively across her chest.

"How could this happen to them, Sam?"Caitlin asked in a whisper. "Josh and Donna had one of the strongest marriages I knew outside of my parents."

"They'll pull out of it."Sam promised as he walked over to her pulling her close. "I don't know how I know that but I do. What they have is too special to be destroyed by a misunderstanding."

Caitlin leaned her head against Sam's chest. "How are we going to fix this by Thursday, Sam?"

Sam shook his head as he tightened his arms around her. "I don't know, Caitie, but we will. For their sake and for Rachel."

Caitlin pulled away. "Maybe I should go talk to Josh again."

Sam shook his head as he gently reached over and caressed her left cheek. "Why don't you let me do that? It'll make me feel like I'm doing something to help Donna."

"Okay."Caitlin replied with a loving smile as she kissed him. "I love you."

"I love you too, Caitie."Sam replied before turning briefly to look back at Donna who wasn't asleep yet. "Do you two need anything before I leave?"

Caitlin shook her head. "No, we should be fine."

Sam nodded before he leaned down and kissed her quickly. "I'll be back as soon as I can."

********

Amazingly Josh only had to return his burger once before room service cooked it the way he wanted it. Josh tipped the waiter and took the tray over to the bed and sat down balancing the tray on his lap. Josh took a bite of the burger not really tasting it wondering why he had bothered to order it in the first place. Donna was the only one who could cook a hamburger the way he liked it.

Josh angrily tossed the sandwich down mad at himself for thinking about her again. Donna had, to choose a bad metaphor made her own bed and now she had to lay in it. He picked up the remote and started to flip through the channels and eventually landed on a really bad spy movie.

As Josh set the remote aside and returned his attention to his meal there was a knock on the door. With a sigh the former deputy chief of staff pushed the tray aside and stood walking over to answer it. Somehow he wasn't surprised to see Sam Seaborn on the other side.

"Sam."Josh stated hollowly before turning and returning to sit on the bed.

Sam closed the door behind him as he took a deep breath. He used to write speeches for a living but now he was finding himself not sure of how to start what he had to say.

"Josh.....you're destroying your life, your wife and yourself....it has to stop."Sam replied bluntly as he moved to stand in front of his friend.

Josh sighed as he rubbed the back of his neck wearily. "Sam, I'm sure you have much better things to do than lecture me and I really don't have the energy to fight you right now."

Sam grabbed a chair from the small table by the window and dragged it over and turned it around so he was straddling it. "No I don't and we're going to sit here until we get this settled. Josh your family is too precious to destroy it over a misunderstanding."

Josh glared at his friend. "We did this already and it got us nowhere and what I saw with Collins and Donna was not a misunderstanding."

Sam's eyes narrowed. "How do you know, Josh? You never gave her a chance to explain anything."

"She was wearing a robe, Sam!"Josh shouted as he leapt off the bed. "I don't need that explained to me. Why else would my wife be in a hotel room at ten in the morning wearing only a robe?!"

"She's not Joey."Sam replied calmly as he turned to face his friend. "Just because she was in a robe doesn't mean anything happened. She told Caitie that she got caught in the rain and was soaked."

"And of course you two believe her!"Josh snapped ignoring the jab at Joey. Josh had been hurt when he had discovered that Joey had gone back to Keifer yet again during one of her frequent trips to California. And then after the chaos of the shooting their relationship had fallen apart.

Sam stood. "This isn't about sides, Josh! It's about truth.....Donna loves you.....has since the first time she met you."

"Sam...."Josh protested as he shoved his hands into his pant's pockets.

"Josh, use your head for once."Sam began hoping that he was making headway. "Donna has been the only woman to stay by your side all these years. Joey couldn't do it, Mandy ended badly as well. Do you really think Donna would betray you now?"

Josh walked over to the window. "You sound like Leo."

"I'm glad I called Leo....it sounds like he was able to get you to listen when Caitie and I couldn't."Sam replied quietly.

Josh shook his head as he turned away from the window. "You shouldn't have dragged Leo into this, Sam. Now Donna has one more ally on her side."

Sam blinked in surprise. "Ally? Josh will you listen to yourself? We're all here for you both...always have been always will be."

"Let me guess Donna knows about the custody hearing being moved up and she sent you over here to talk me out of it."Josh replied bitterly.

/You have no idea how far off you are, Josh./Sam thought sadly as he remembered Donna's earlier collapse.

"Yes, Donna knows about the hearing but she doesn't know I'm here."Sam said quietly.

"This is what's best for Rachel."Josh replied softly as he moved back toward the bed sitting down on the corner. "She needs a stable home."

Sam turned around. "And by ripping her away from her mother and the only home she's known she's going to gain stability?"

Josh glared at him. "Donna nearly killed her in case you forgot!"

Sam shook his head. "I haven't forgotten, Josh, but that was an accident and there wasn't even any flames."

"Not that time."Josh replied fighting to keep his voice from shaking as memories from that awful night came flooding back. "But there could've been....in seconds I could've lost everything."

"Don't you see Josh that you have?"Sam stated as he moved to stand in front of his friend. "You're blaming Donna for something she couldn't have prevented and you feel that the only way you think you can take revenge against her is by taking Rachel away."

Josh blinked in surprise. "You think this custody hearing is my way of getting revenge?"

Sam nodded. "It's the only thing that makes sense. Josh, you know Donna's not a bad parent....she'd rather lay down her own life than let harm come to that little girl and so would you."

Josh shook his head firmly. "She got distracted by Collins and that nearly cost us Rachel. I won't let that happen again."

Sam sighed as he started toward the door, knowing he wasn't getting anywhere with Josh.. "Josh, do you really want Rachel to grow up without really knowing her mother? I know what that's like and it's no way for a kid to grow up."

Josh glanced at his friend....he had forgotten that Sam's parent's were divorced. "This is entirely different than what happened with your parents."

"How? Because my father left us when I was nine?"Sam shook his head firmly shutting out any painful memories that threatened to surface. "Being a child of divorce is the same no matter what the age or what the situation. Don't let Rachel grow up that way, Josh. You're a terrific father....but she needs the support of both parents....support of a family. That won't happen if you raise her on your own no matter how much you love her."

Before Josh could reply Sam turned and left without a goodbye.

end of part 21 TBC


	22. Chances 22

Title: Chances 

Author: Cindy Brewer 

Disclaimer: I don't own the West Wing characters but the ones you don't recognize are mine.:) 

Rating: PG 

Author's notes: This story is set five years from West Wing's first season. For purposes of this story's timeline Bartlet didn't win reelection. 

Many thanks to Amanda for letting me borrow Caitlin and for her valuable input on this story.:) Single '' quotation marks indicate a flashback

 

Caitlin had left the door unlocked so Sam quietly let himself into Donna and Josh's house. A single lamp lighted the living room as Sam closed the door behind him. As he stepped into the room Sam saw that both women were asleep.....Donna on the sofa clutching the blanket to her chest as if it were a protective barrier and Caitlin curled up in a nearby chair.

Sam quickly took a multi-colored afghan from the back of the sofa and gently covered Caitlin with it. She had been through so much the last few years and Sam knew that the strain between Josh and Donna was taking a toll on her as well.

Caitlin stirred and opened her eyes just as Sam stepped away from the chair. "Hi, when did you get back?"

Sam smiled as he knelt next to the chair. "Just a few minutes ago."He replied in a whisper. "You were both sleeping so soundly I didn't want to wake you."

"How'd it go?"Caitlin asked quietly as she glanced over at Donna.

Sam sighed as he shook his head. "I thought I had finally got through to him Caitie but he slammed the walls back up."

Caitlin reached over and squeezed his hand. "If anybody could make Josh listen it's you."

"I used to think that."Sam replied softly. "He's like a brother to me, Caitie and I hate seeing him in that much pain and not be able to do anything about it."

Caitlin turned in the chair and let go of her husband's hand as she reached up to touch Sam's face."Being there for him is helping him, Sam, even if Josh is do stubborn to realize it right now."

"I hope so."Sam replied as he glanced over at Donna's sleeping form.

"What time is it anyway?"Caitlin asked as she squinted at the clock on the nearby VCR.

Sam looked at his watch. "Almost nine thirty."

Caitlin nodded. "Nine thirty and I was asleep....must be getting old."She replied with a grin.

Sam caught her hand in his as he stood and gently moved her over. "Scoot over."He replied as he sat down and pulled Caitlin onto his lap holding her close. "I am so lucky to have you."Sam whispered as he gently brushed Caitlin's hair away from her face. "Promise me that no matter how bad the fight is that you'll never leave angry."

Caitlin looked up at Sam and found herself drowning in his beautiful blue eyes. "I promise as long as that works both ways."

Sam nodded as he cradled her face in his hands. "I love you, Caitlin Seaborn."He replied huskily."And you are never going to lose me."

*********

Caitlin awoke the next morning around eight and headed downstairs letting Sam sleep. She tip toed past the living room and went in the kitchen in search of caffeine. It was only after that she grabbed a can of soda from the refrigerator that she saw the living room was empty. Figuring Donna had moved upstairs to her room when she woke during the night Caitlin opened the can of soda and walked upstairs.

Once upstairs Caitlin gently opened the door to Donna's room and peeked inside. A frown crossed Caitlin's face when she saw the bed hadn't been slept in. She walked farther into the room and saw the bathroom door was wide open and the room beyond dark.....no sign of Donna.

Going back to the guestroom Caitlin found that her husband was already awake.

"You okay?"Sam asked with concern as he sat up.

Caitlin shook her head as she crossed over to the bed. "I can't find Donna."

Sam sleepily glanced at a nearby clock. "Maybe she went for a walk."

"Maybe."Caitlin replied distractedly as she placed the untouched soda on the dreser.

Sam tossed the covers off and stood grabbing a pair of jeans and a red t-shirt. "You stay with Rachel. I'll walk around the block and see if I can catch up with her."

Caitlin smiled some of her worry leaving her face. "Thank you." Sam crossed over to his wife and gently pulled her to him. "She's my friend too."

Caitlin kissed him before pulling back and reaching for her clothes on a low-backed chair.

Sam walked out of the guestroom and walked down the hallway. As he passed Rachel's room he back peddled wanting to check on the little girl. As he opened the door a crack he saw Rachel wasn't in her crib. Alarmed Sam pushed open the door all the way and saw Rachel curled in her mother's arms in the corner near the window.....both sound asleep.

"Caitlin?"Sam called his voice barely above a whisper.

"Yeah?"Caitlin replied her voice muffled as she pulled a shirt over her head.

"Come here."Sam stated his gaze never leaving the pair before him.

Caitlin pulled on a pair of jean shorts and walked out of the guestroom. Seeing Sam standing outside of Rachel's room hand still on the doorknob Caitlin rushed over to him.

"What's wrong?"Caitlin asked worriedly.

Sam shook his head as he placed an arm around his wife's shoulders. "Nothing, I just found Donna."

Caitlin followed her husband's gaze and saw Donna sitting on the floor with Rachel in her arms both sound asleep.

Not having the heart to separate Donna and Rachel, Caitlin reached over and gently closed the door.

end of part 22 TBC


	23. Chances 23

Title: Chances 

Author: Cindy Brewer 

Disclaimer: I don't own the West Wing characters but the ones you don't recognize are mine.:) 

Rating: PG 

Author's notes: This story is set five years from West Wing's first season. For purposes of this story's timeline Bartlet didn't win reelection. 

Many thanks to Amanda for letting me borrow Caitlin and for her valuable input on this story.:) Single '' quotation marks indicate a flashback

 

Donna awoke around ten to find Caitlin and Sam in the living room watching tv. Donna walked downstairs and placed Rachel in her playpen.

"How are you feeling?"Caitlin asked with concern as she rose to meet her friend.

Donna smiled slightly. "Like I slept on a bus. I'm sorry for causing you guys worry last night....I didn't mean to fall apart on you."

Sam stood and crossed over to them as he gently touched Donna's shoulder. "No apologies necessary. I'm just glad you're okay."

"Your attorney called while you were asleep."Caitlin said quietly watching her friend closely. "She wants to meet with you in her office around three to go over some last minute details before the hearing."

Sam nodded. "I offered to help her with the proportion so I'll be there with you if that's okay."

Donna glanced over at Rachel as she replied quietly. "That's fine. I appreciate everything you guys have done.....dropping everything to come out here and hold my hand."

"I just wish we could do more."Caitlin replied softly as she stepped toward the kitchen. "Are you hungry? I think I can manage to cook eggs or waffles without burning them too badly."

Donna laughed recalling her former roommate's cooking skills. "Caitlin, you burned spaghetti which I didn't think was possible."

Caitlin giggled at the memory. "That wasn't my fault!"

Sam glanced at his wife not having heard this story. "You burned spaghetti?"

"I only overcooked the noodles."Caitlin protested.

Donna grinned as she entered the kitchen. "If you only overcooked the noodles the people downstairs wouldn't have called the fire department."

"It wasn't all bad."Caitlin replied defensively. "One of them asked you out if I recall."

"That's true."Donna replied as she recalled the well-built black haired fireman who she went out with twice after that. "Even though he neglected to tell me he was engaged."

Just as Donna pulled the tray of eggs out of the refrigerator the doorbell rang.

"I'll get it."Sam offered since he was the closest.

"Josh."Sam greeted with surprise as he opened the door.

"Sam."Lyman replied quietly as he stepped into the living room. He knew he was taking a risk coming here. But he needed to spend some time with his daughter before things got crazy tomorrow.

Donna quickly put the tray of eggs on the counter before walking over to face her estranged husband. As she took in his drawn and pale face Donna could tell he slept about as much as she had. Why were they doing this to themselves? Where had it gone so wrong that they acted like strangers toward each other?

"What do you want, Josh?"Donna demanded as she folded her arms across her chest. She kept her voice neutral not wanting to upset Rachel.

Josh saw the anger and hurt in his wife's eyes and winced inwardly knowing he had put it there. But things that had occurred in the last six months had to be dealt with.

Josh glanced behind him to where his daughter sat in her playpen. "I was hoping I could spend some time with Rachel.....an hour or so."

Donna's eyes narrowed sharply. "Have you forgotten what's happening tomorrow, Josh?"

"No."Josh replied quietly as he shoved his hands into his jacket pockets.

"How dare you come over here now and ask to spend time with her!"Donna countered her hands clenched into fists as Sam and Caitlin stood by awkwardly. "You're asking a Judge to take her away from me and now you want to take away more precious time? Get the hell out."

Josh was about to reply when a tiny voice interupted.

"Da!"Rachel squealed as she turned around in the playpen to face her father.

Donna closed her eyes briefly. There was no way now that she couldn't deny Josh's request now that Rachel had seen him.

"Hey shorty."Josh replied his voice catching as he knelt next to the playpen reaching in to ruffle his daughter's hair. "How's my little girl?"

Sam glanced between Josh and Donna and back again before moving to stand behind Josh. "Josh...."

Josh didn't break his attention away from Rachel. "Don't start Sam. You stated your opinion quite clearly last night."

Caitlin moved to stand next to Donna. "You don't have to let him, Donna."She whispered feeling very much like she was caught in the middle.

Donna swallowed hard as she watched Josh with Rachel. "I have to, Cait. Rachel's seen him....how could I tell her that she can't spend time with her father? She's too little to understand this."

Donna walked over to Josh. "Have her back by one. I don't want her so wired up that she won't lay down for her nap."

Josh nodded as he stood and picked Rachel up. "Thank you."

Not being able to watch Josh and Rachel any longer Donna turned and quickly walked upstairs. A few minutes later everyone gathered in the living room heard the bedroom door slam shut.

*********

end of part 23 TBC


	24. Chances 24

Title: Chances 

Author: Cindy Brewer 

Disclaimer: I don't own the West Wing characters but the ones you don't recognize are mine.:) 

Rating: PG 

Author's notes: This story is set five years from West Wing's first season. For purposes of this story's timeline Bartlet didn't win reelection. 

Many thanks to Amanda for letting me borrow Caitlin and for her valuable input on this story.:) Single '' quotation marks indicate a flashback

 

Twenty minutes later Josh was pushing Rachel in her stroller through a small park a few blocks away. With schools starting back up the following week the park was crowded with kids of various ages. After dinner if it was still light enough he and Donna would bring Rachel here and walk the bike path and mainly just enjoy each other's company.

Josh sighed as he glanced down at his daughter.....those days seemed like a life time ago. Pushing the memory aside Josh spotted a bench a little ways down the path. He pushed Rachel towards it and then sat down and unhooked the stroller's safety belt so he could pick Rachel up.

As he sat Rachel on his lap the little girl reached up to grab his tie. Josh gently caught the tiny hand in his and stared at his daughter for a long moment.

"I hope some day you'll be able to understand what I'm doing this for."Josh said quietly his voice nearly strained to the breaking point. "You're far too precious to me to risk you being hurt in any way."

Rachel squealed in delight and tried to grab a passing monarch butterfly. Josh pulled her close before she toppled.

"I know you'll miss your Mama."Josh whispered as he rested his chin lightly on her head. "But I promise you everything is going to be fine....just the two of us.....we'll make it work."

*********

Half an hour after Josh left Caitlin tapped on Donna's door a plate of two waffles in one hand. "Donna?"

"I'm okay, Cait."Donna replied as she put the dust rag down on the dresser and moved to open the door.

"I thought you'd be hungry."Caitlin said as she glanced around the room at the various cleaning supplies. "You're cleaning?"

"You know I clean when I'm upset."Donna replied as she took the plate from Caitlin and sat down on the corner of the bed. "I needed a way to vent my anger and cleaning was the first thing I thought of."

Caitlin closed the door behind her before sitting next to her friend. "It'll work out, Donna."

Donna stared at her friend incredulously. "How? We're facing a judge tomorrow morning to find out if Josh will be able to take Rachel away from me. Caitlin if that happens.......I don't know what I'll do without her."

"That won't happen, Donna."Caitlin replied firmly. "Josh will come to his senses.....he has to. You two love each other too much to let this break you apart."

"I wish I could believe that."Donna said softly as she poked the fork at the waffles moving them around the plate.

"Remember what you felt when Josh asked you out for the first time? When he proposed? Remember the look on his face when you placed Rachel in his arms for the first time?"Caitlin asked quietly.

Donna nodded tears clogging her throat.

"Hold on to that."Caitlin replied in a whisper. "Josh will come around and when he does he'll realize what an idiot he's been."

********

Josh returned shortly before one and quietly handed Rachel to Donna as they stood in the front doorway. There was so much Donna wanted to say to him....wanted to shout at him for causing all this heartache to their family but no words would come. So she silently shut the door and handed Rachel to Caitlin.

"Thanks for watching her, Cait."Donna said softly as she started for the stairs. "I don't think we'll be at Marilyn's office long....."

Caitlin smiled at Rachel as the toddler squirmed. "Take your time."

After Donna went upstairs to change Sam watched Rachel and Caitlin for a long moment.

"What?"Caitlin asked after several minutes noting the far away look on her husband's face.

Sam smiled as he moved closer to her placing an arm around her waist. "Nothing....just picturing what our child might look like."

Caitlin grinned. "Is that your subtle way of telling me you'd like to start a family of our own?"

Sam touched her face tenderly. "I'm game if you are."

end of part 24 TBC


	25. Chances 25

Ten points if anybody catches the a-team reference in this chapter.:)

Title: Chances 

Author: Cindy Brewer 

Disclaimer: I don't own the West Wing characters but the ones you don't recognize are mine.:) 

Rating: PG 

Author's notes: This story is set five years from West Wing's first season. For purposes of this story's timeline Bartlet didn't win reelection. Many thanks to Amanda for letting me borrow Caitlin and for her valuable input on this story.:) Single '' quotation marks indicate a flashback

 

Promptly at three Donna and Sam stood outside a law office on the twentieth floor of a Michigan Avenue skyscraper.

"You don't have to do this, Sam. I'm fine on my own."Donna offered as they stood to the side of the plushly carpeted hallway.

Sam shook his head as he placed a reassuring hand on Donna's right arm. "I'm just glad I can help in some way. I just wish things hadn't progressed this far."

Donna nodded sadly. "Me too."She replied in a whisper as they entered the large law office.

A woman in her forties with dark brown hair smiled warmly as she approached the pair from the right of the office.

"Donna, glad you could make this appointment on such short notice."Marilyn Nagy stated with a smile as she shook Donna's hand. "Who's your handsome friend?"

"I'm sorry."Donna replied sheepishly. "Marilyn Nagy this is an old friend of mine Sam Seaborn."

Marilyn blinked in recognition. "An honor to meet you Mr. Seaborn, your reputation proceeds you."

Sam laughed softly as he shook the older woman's hand. "I hope you don't believe everything you hear."

Marilyn chuckled as she ushered them through the foyer and to her corner office. "I wouldn't have lasted this long in this business if I had, Mr. Seaborn."

"I don't want to step on your toes."Sam began as he and Donna sat down in a pair of wing backed leather chairs. "But I'm here to offer whatever help I can. Josh and Donna are like family to me and I hate to see this happening to them. But furthermost I do not want to see Rachel taken from her mother."

"That we're in agreement, Mr. Seaborn."Marilyn replied as she sat down behind her desk. "I'll be glad to take whatever help you can offer but to be frank with both of you this is going to be a difficult hearing to win."

********

By the time Sam and Donna returned home three hours later she was exhausted. Marilyn and Sam had spent most of that time prepping Donna for what could happen when she got on the witness stand. It had been grueling and humiliating and that had only been the practice run. On top of that Marilyn had broken the news that she still hadn't' been able to track Dan down.......not the news Donna had wanted to hear.

"How'd it go?"Caitlin asked as she handed Rachel to Donna as the trio stood in the living room.

Sam shook his head grimly. "It was intense but I think we're as ready for tomorrow as we're ever going to be."

Donna paused at the foot of the stairs. "I appreciate everything you guys have done I really do. But if you don't' mind I'd like to spend this evening alone."

Caitlin frowned remembering her friend's emotional state the night before. "Donna, I don't think...."

Donna shook her head. "I'm okay, Cait, really. I just want to spend as much time as I can with Rachel. I'll call you tomorrow and we can meet for breakfast before going to the court house."

"Okay."Caitlin replied softly as she reached for her coat, which was draped across a nearby chair. "You know where we are if you need anything."

"I'll be fine."Donna said as she shifted Rachel to her other arm. "You two go have fun, relax, forget abut my problems for awhile and enjoy each other."

*********

The next morning Sam and Caitlin met Donna at a fifties type diner a few blocks from the court house.

"Mrs. Dismuke next door agreed to sit for Rachel until we know...."Donna trailed off and seemed to be studying the menu intently.

Sam cleared his throat as he glanced around the crowded restaurant. "Have you been here before, Donna? What's good?"

Donna shook her head as she looked over the top of her menu. "No I haven't but several friends have. They're known for their pancakes."

"That sounds good."Sam replied as he placed the menu on the table and glanced at his wife. "What about you, Caitie?"

"Denver omelet."Caitlin said with a smile as she looked across the table at Donna. "Did you get any sleep?"

Donna shook her head. "An hour maybe."She replied wearily before glancing at Seaborn. "Did you see Josh this morning?"

"No."Sam stated quietly. "I knocked on his door before we left but there was no answer."

The waitress arrived at that moment to take their orders ending the conversation.

********

As soon as Donna stepped out of the elevator onto the third floor of the courthouse at nine thirty she spotted Josh instantly. He was a few feet away talking to his attorney.

At the ding of the elevator Josh turned and saw Donna,Sam and Caitlin step out. At their united front Josh swallowed his hurt and turned his attention back to what Steven was telling him. Josh had always thought of Sam and Caitlin as family but they had obviously chosen their side....no point of dwelling on it.

Donna stepped away from the elevator just as Marilyn Nagy approached her the woman's high heeled shoes echoed loudly.

"Marilyn."Donna greeted quietly. "This is Sam's wife, Caitlin."

"Nice to meet you."Marilyn replied as she quickly shook Caitlin's hand.

"Nice to meet you too."Caitlin commented before she and Sam moved a few feet away allowing them a few minutes of privacy.

"I hate this."Caitlin whispered as Sam pulled her close.

"I know."Sam replied quietly his gaze traveling to Josh. "So do I.....all we can do now is be there for them."

"I just checked the schedule and we were lucky enough to get Judge Templeton."Marilyn explained as she and Donna walked toward the courtroom. "He's been in family court for over twenty years so he's seen just about everything. Which makes him fair but a little jaded."

"That doesn't sound like it helps us."Donna replied worriedly. "Especially without Dan here to back up my word."

Marilyn flashed her a reassuring smile. "Remember Josh brought the case so it's up to him to prove it. We just have to stay calm and state the facts."She glanced through the open courtroom doors. "Let's get seated looks like things are about to start."

"Josh?"Steven called gaining his friend's attention. "I know we talked about this before but I just want to make sure you're ready for what's going to happen in there."

"I listened to you the first time, Steven."Josh replied more sharply than he intended.

"In order to prove our case we're going to have to lean on Donna pretty hard."Burnel replied ignoring Josh's attitude. "Are you prepared for that?"

Josh saw Donna and her attorney enter the courtroom and turned to follow. "I'm prepared to do whatever it takes to protect Rachel's future."

end of part 25 TBC


	26. Chances 26

Ten points if anybody catches the a-team reference in this chapter.:)

Title: Chances 

Author: Cindy Brewer 

Disclaimer: I don't own the West Wing characters but the ones you don't recognize are mine.:) 

Rating: PG 

Author's notes: This story is set five years from West Wing's first season. For purposes of this story's timeline Bartlet didn't win reelection. Many thanks to Amanda for letting me borrow Caitlin and for her valuable input on this story.:) Single '' quotation marks indicate a flashback

 

Everyone stood as Judge Julian Templeton entered the courtroom. He was in his early fifties with graying brown hair and green eyes.

"Be seated."Templeton ordered as he sat down.

The bailiff approached the bench calling the case. "Lyman v. Lyman case no. 55834 in the matter of sole custody of the minor child."

"Mr. Burnel."Templeton began. "Are you ready to proceed?"

Josh's attorney stood. "Yes, Your Honor."

"A reminder to the Court."Templeton stated as he folded his hands in front of him. "This is a hearing not a trial so there is no jury. I will not tolerate theatrics in my courtroom."

"Understood, Your Honor."Both attorneys said in unison.

Templeton nodded. "Very well, Mr. Burnel?"

"Mr. Lyman is here today to prove that he has the best interests of the minor child at heart. We call Caitlin Seaborn to the stand."Steven Burnel stated as he leaned on the small oak conference table.

Caitlin glanced at Sam in surprise as she stood. They had both realized they could be called as character witnesses but she hadn't expected to be the first one called.

Sam squeezed her hand as she passed him and stepped into the isle. Caitlin walked briskly up the isle toward the witness stand but she paused between the two attorney tables and looked from Donna to Josh and back again. Caitlin still couldn't believe they were all here in this courtroom.....after everything they had been through since they had met during the campaign....had it all really led up to this point? Donna had been matron of honor at Caitlin's wedding.....Josh had been Sam's best man.

Realizing all eyes were on her Caitlin swallowed hard and walked toward the witness stand. As she sat down the bailiff asked her to raise her right hand.

"Do you swear to tell the whole truth an nothing but so help you God?"

Caitlin nodded. "I do."

Burnel walked around the table. "Mrs. Seaborn, can you state your full name for the record?"

"Caitlin Bartlet-Seaborn."Caitlin replied as she folded her hands and rested them on her lap.

"You are the middle daughter of former President Josiah Bartlet, correct?"Burnel continued.

"Yes."

"How long have you known Mr. Lyman?"

"We met nearly ten years ago during my father's campaign for the Presidency."

"And you worked with Mr. Lyman once your father took office, correct?"

"Yes, but I assisted the whole Senior staff. I wasn't just working through Mr. Lyman's office."

"So you were there when Mr. Lyman and Mrs. Lyman first met?"

Caitlin shook her had. "No I started working on the campaign a few weeks after Josh hired Donna."

"But you were there at the beginning of their relationship?"

"If you mean the beginning of their friendship, yes. They didn't become romantically involved until three years later."

"Were you present when their daughter was born?"

"Yes."

"And you kept in touch with them after they moved to Chicago?"

"Yes."

"Did Mrs. Lyman confide in you about her extramarital affair?"

"There was no affair."Caitlin stated looking over at Josh and catching his gaze.

"I'm not asking for your opinion, Mrs. Seaborn. I'm asking if Mrs. Lyman told you about her relationship with Dan Collins?"

"She told me of their friendship yes."

"Did she tell you of the reasons why Mr. Lyman split from her?"

"Yes."

"So she told you about the affair?"

"No, but...."Caitlin replied but was cut off by the attorney.

"Thank you Mrs. Seaborn, no further questions."

Judge Templeton turned to Donna's side of the courtroom. "Ms. Nagy, redirect?"

"Yes Your Honor."Marilyn Nagy replied as she stood and approached Caitlin.

"Mrs. Seaborn, you and Mrs. Lyman were roomates?"

"Yes, from when I started working at the White House until she and Josh got married."

"During that time did Mrs. Lyman ever mention Dan Collins?"

"Only in the context that he was a high school sweetheart."

"And that was the last you heard of Mr. Collins until Mrs. Lyman phoned you last week?"

Caitlin nodded. "Yes."

"Did Mrs. Lyman tell you why Mr. Collins had contacted her?"

"He was in town for a few days and wanted to catch up. He was going through a nasty divorce and needed someone to talk to."

"And in your opinion as an old friend of Mrs. Lyman, would it be like her to drop everything when he asked?"

Caitlin glanced at Josh. "Yes Donna has always been very giving and loyal to her friends."

"Thank you, Mrs. Seaborn."Nagy replied as she turned and walked back to her table. "No further questions."

"Mrs. Seaborn you may step down."Judge Templeton ordered.

end of part 26 TBC


	27. Chances 27

Title: Chances 

Author: Cindy Brewer 

Disclaimer: I don't own the West Wing characters but the ones you don't recognize are mine.:) 

Rating: PG 

Author's notes: This story is set five years from West Wing's first season. For purposes of this story's timeline Bartlet didn't win reelection. Many thanks to Amanda for letting me borrow Caitlin and for her valuable input on this story.:) Single '' quotation marks indicate a flashback

 

"Ms. Nagy you may call your first witness."Judge Templeton said as Caitlin retook her seat next to Sam.

"We call Joshua Lyman."

Donna stiffened and swallowed hard as she watched the bailiff swear Josh in. A memory surfaced that Donna didn't really need the reminder of at that moment.

'Donna, time to toss your bouquet.'C.J. Cregg exclaimed as she approached the newlyweds.

Donna grinned as she pulled away from her husband. "Think you can live without me for a few minutes?'

Josh pulled her close and kissed her. 'No, but I'll manage. I love you Mrs. Lyman.'

'I love you, Mr. Lyman.'Donna replied with a smile as she moved to join C.J.

'Okay.'C.J. called gaining everyone's attention.'Single ladies to the center please.' Soon a small group was forming behind C.J. The red haired woman glanced at the giggling group before turning toward the other guests.

'That means you too, Caitlin.'

Caitlin laughed as she glanced at Sam who was talking with her father.'I'm not single, C.J.'

C.J. looked pointedly at Sam.'You're not married yet either.'

'Good point.'Caitlin replied with a wicked grin as she joined the other women.

'Caitie!'Sam protested in mock hurt.'Does this mean I have competition?'

'You never know, Sam.'Caitlin teased with a laugh as Donna moved to stand in front of her friends.

'Everybody ready?'Donna asked as she looked over her shoulder.

'Ready!'

Donna met Josh's gaze as she threw her bouquet into the group.

Several giggling minutes later the crowd untangled themselves and Donna saw it was Caitlin who had caught the bouquet.

With a grin Donna turned to face Sam. 'I think that's a hint, Sam.'

Sam nodded a smile crossing his face as he watched Caitlin laugh with the other women. 'My bachelor days may indeed be numbered.'

\-------------- "Mr. Lyman, what do you do for a living?"Marilyn Nagy asked jerking Donna's attention back to the present.

"Currently I give political lectures to college and universities."

"So you travel a great deal?"

'Yes.'

'Mr. Lyman, where were you on August 3rd, 2003?"

Burnel stood. "Objection relevance.....what is this a bad Perry Mason impersonation?"

"The relevance will become clear, Your Honor." Nagy replied.

Templeton nodded. "Mr. Lyman, you may answer the question."

Josh shook his head. "That was two years ago. I don't remember."

"That was when your daughter tried to stand for the first time."

"I remember."Josh snapped. "I just don't recall the exact date."

"That's because you were in Oregon giving a lecture. Isn't it true that your schedule caused you to miss a lot of your daughter's milestones?"

Josh met the woman's gaze forcing himself not to glare. "Donna understood."

"Did she?"Nagy asked as she placed her hands behind her back. "Were you doing the lecture tour when you got married?"

"No, we were both still working at the White House."Josh replied not being able to keep his gaze from locking with Donna's.

"Didn't the White House have a policy against interoffice dating?"

"Yes."

"But being the Deputy Chief of Staff you thought it didn't apply to you."

"That's not true. Donna and I didn't look for this relationship it just happened and when it did neither of us were willing to give it up just because we worked together."

"You were her boss that was a little different than working together."

"We kept our personal and professional relationships separate."

"So Mrs. Lyman never felt her job was threatened?"

"No! It was nothing like that. Donna knew she kept me sane and my professional life from falling apart....if anything she had the power over me. My office would've been useless without her organizational skills."

"So Mrs. Lyman never felt threatened at all? Even when you hired your ex-girlfriend Madeline Hampton as a media consultant?"

Josh was beginning to feel like he was back being grilled by Claypool and his cronies. "Donna and I weren't romantically involved at that time."

"Objection! What does this possibly have to do with the custody petition?"Burnel asked as he stood.

"It goes towards character, Your Honor."Nagy replied.

"I'll allow it for now, Ms. Nagy but watch yourself."Templeton admonished.

"Yes Your Honor."Marilyn replied as she continued. "Yes you were involved with a Josephine Lucas. How long did that relationship last?"

"About six months."

"And how long after that did you and Mrs. Lyman start dating?"

"Our first real date was eight months later."

"So it's safe to say that your two year old marriage is the longest relationship you've had?"

"No."

"I'm talking about your adult relationships, Mr. Lyman.....high school doesn't count."

Josh glared at the dark haired woman. "My dating record or lack there of has nothing to do with how well I can take care of my daughter."

"On the contrary Mr. Lyman, it has everything to do with it if you want to give your daughter a stable environment."Nagy replied as she glanced over at the Judge. "No further questions, Your Honor."

Templeton nodded. "Redirect, Mr. Burnel?"

Steven nodded as he stood and walked around the table. "Mr. Lyman, what is your wife's current occupation?"

Josh forced himself not to glance at Donna. "She's an aide in Congresswoman Shultz's office here in Chicago."

"So she doesn't have a nine to five job?"

Josh shook his head. "No. Several nights she wouldn't come home until nearly ten."

"And when is your daughter's bedtime?"

"Seven"

"Do you employ a nanny?"

"No."

"A regular sitter?"

"A neighborhood girl but she's not always available."

"Then your wife would leave your daughter with various strangers when you traveled?"

"Objection!"Marilyn Nagy stated as she started to stand. "Character...."

Burnel met her gaze as he turned away from the stand. "Withdrawn, no further questions."

"Mr. Lyman, you may step down."Templeton ordered.

end of part 27 TBC


	28. Chances 28

Title: Chances 

Author: Cindy Brewer 

Disclaimer: I don't own the West Wing characters but the ones you don't recognize are mine.:) 

Rating: PG 

Author's notes: This story is set five years from West Wing's first season. For purposes of this story's timeline Bartlet didn't win reelection. Many thanks to Amanda for letting me borrow Caitlin and for her valuable input on this story.:) Single '' quotation marks indicate a flashback

 

Templeton turned toward Josh's attorney. "Mr. Burnel, your next witnes?"

Steven nodded. "We call Sam Seaborn."

Nagy stood. "We object to this witness, Your Honor. Mr. Seaborn will only recount what his wife testified to."

Burnel shook his head. "Mr. Seaborn and Mr. Lyman have been close friends for nearly a decade. His testimony should be heard."

Templeton looked at his watch then at the attorneys. "Mr. Seaborn will take the stand after we break for a one hour recess for lunch."The Judge replied as he lowered the gavel.

Everyone stood as Templeton left the courtroom.

After Josh and his attorney left the courtroom Donna turned to hers as they stood.

"Josh's testimony really hurt us, didn't it?"Donna asked anxiously just as Caitlin and Sam approached.

Marilyn Nagy shook her head as she placed a reassuring hand on her client's shoulder. "He did some damage but nothing that can't be taken care of when you take the stand later this afternoon. It'll work out Donna, I promise."

Sam cleared his throat. "You up for some lunch, Donna? I know we can do better than the hot dog stand outside."

Donna knew she wouldn't be able to eat much her stomach was in knots but she forced a smile for her friends' benefit. "Just give me a minute. I want to call home and check on Rachel."

********

Twenty minutes later found Donna, Caitlin and Sam sitting at a table in the small diner where they had breakfast earlier. Caitlin tried to hide her concern as Donna picked at her chicken salad. She and Sam had tried to engage Donna in several different light conversations but to no avail.

Donna set down her fork and glanced at her wedding band. The simple diamond ring instantly conjuring up memories of one of the happiest night's of her life. The blonde woman swallowed hard and began to take the band off her finger.

\-----------

They had been dating for nearly six months when Josh had surprised her not only with a full night off but with a candlelit dinner as well. As they entered Josh's apartment around seven that night Donna found a small table set up on the balcony.

'Oh Josh."Donna exclaimed as she took in the beautifully set table. 'It's beautiful but you didn't have to go through all this trouble.'

Josh crossed over to her and pulled her into his arms. 'I figured we deserved it after the hellish week we've had.'

They stepped out onto the small balcony and Josh held out the chair for Donna. She smiled at him as he walked around to the other side of the table and sat down.

Josh was amazed he kept his hands from shaking as he filled their wineglasses. He set the bottle back on the table and fingered the small box in his suit jacket pocket.

'I thought I could make it through dinner to do this but I can't.'Josh stated as he stood and walked back over to her. He took Donna's left hand in his as he knelt on one knee.

Donna's breath caught in her throat as she realized what was about to happen.

'Donnatella, you've been by my side for a lot of years. You've gotten me through some difficult times that I don't think I would've gotten through without you. I love you more than I thought I could love anyone and I can't picture my life without you in it. Donnatella Moss, will you do me the great honor of becoming my wife?'

Donna's eyes filled with tears as she nodded. 'Yes, Josh.'She whispered. 'Yes I'll marry you.'

With a wide smile Josh slipped the ring on her finger and stood pulling Donna to her feet. Josh gathered her in his arms and twirled her around.

'I love you.'Josh whispered hoarsely.

'I love you too, Joshua. Always and forever.'Donna replied softly as she buried her face in his chest.

\-------------

Donna could barely control the tears as she finished pulling off the wedding band. After looking at the ring for a long moment she handed it across the table to Sam.

"Give this back to him."Donna stated angrily. "I never want to see it again."

"Donna....."Sam replied hesitantly as he reached for the ring. He had been there when Josh had been to nearly every jewelry store in D.C.

"Sam, please."Donna pleaded as she dropped the ring in his hand. She turned to Caitlin. "I need to take a walk. I'll meet you guys back in the courtroom."

Before Caitlin or Sam could reply Donna quickly grabbed her purse and left the restaurant.

end of part 28 TBC


	29. Chances 29

Title: Chances 

Author: Cindy Brewer 

Disclaimer: I don't own the West Wing characters but the ones you don't recognize are mine.:) 

Rating: PG 

Author's notes: This story is set five years from West Wing's first season. For purposes of this story's timeline Bartlet didn't win reelection. Many thanks to Amanda for letting me borrow Caitlin and for her valuable input on this story.:) Single '' quotation marks indicate a flashback

 

As Sam and Caitlin stepped off the elevator Donna's wedding ring felt like a lead weight in Sam's pocket.

"I can't give it to him."Sam stated quietly as he spotted Josh at the end of the hall.

"Right now it's what Donna wants."Caitlin replied softly as she squeezed his hand.

Sam turned to face his wife. "If I give it to him, Caitie, he'll know that Donna's shut the door. We won't be able to help."

Caitlin sighed. "I hate to say it, but I think it's up to them now."Caitlin replied sadly. "All we can do is be here when they need us."

Sam leaned over to kiss Caitlin quickly before saying. "Love you. I'll see you inside."

Caitlin nodded. "I'm going to see if I can find Donna."

*******

"Sam I don't really want to talk right now."Josh stated wearily as he pushed himself away from the wall.

"Then don't."Sam replied quietly as he reached into his pocket. "Donna wanted me to give this to you."

Josh glanced at his friend and swallowed hard when he saw Donna's wedding band in Sam's outstretched hand.

Seaborn shook his head sadly as he handed Josh the ring. "You had everything, Josh."

Josh was about to reply when the bailiff stepped out into the corridor announcing that court was back in session.

********

Once everyone was seated Judge Templeton turned to Josh's attorney.

"Mr. Burnel, you may proceed."

"Thank you, Your Honor."Steven Burnel replied. "We call Sam Seaborn."

Sam glanced at Caitlin as he stood. She smiled at him reassuredly.

Josh watched his longtime friend be sworn in and something cold settled in the pit of his stomach. Sam had always been like a brother to him so when Sam and Caitlin had gotten married Josh had been ecstatic. Not just for his friends but Josh realized that in a way he was gaining the family he had lost when Joanie died all those years ago. But in this courtroom the sides were clearly chosen. Josh had not only lost Donna but he'd lost Sam and Caitlin as well.

Burnel walked around the table and stood in front of Sam.

"Mr. Seaborn, state your occupation for the record."

"I'm an attorney in private practice mainly dealing with corporate clients and a few probate cases. I was Deputy Communications Director during President Bartlet's administration."

"Is that how you met Joshua Lyman?"

"Yes, during the campaign. I was one of the last staffers brought on board."

"Were you at the Lyman's wedding?"

Sam nodded. "Yes, I was Josh's best man."

"So you and Josh are close?"

"Yes he's like a brother to me. Always there when I need him."

end of part 29 TBC


	30. Chances 30

Title: Chances 

Author: Cindy Brewer 

Disclaimer: I don't own the West Wing characters but the ones you don't recognize are mine.:) 

Rating: PG 

Author's notes: This story is set five years from West Wing's first season. For purposes of this story's timeline Bartlet didn't win reelection. Many thanks to Amanda for letting me borrow Caitlin and for her valuable input on this story.:) Single '' quotation marks indicate a flashback

 

At Sam's statement a dark memory slipped into Josh's thoughts. A memory of a night where Josh had nearly lost those he held most dear.

\---------

At the first sound of gunfire Josh Lyman raced toward the metal fence that blocked him from his friends and colleagues headed toward the motorcade. Before Josh could get a look at anything three Secret Service agents pried the Deputy Chief of Staff away from the fence and pressed him hard against the ground. No matter how Josh struggled they wouldn't let him rise until the gunfire had stopped. So Josh was forced to do nothing but wait and wonder what had happened. It was a mixed blessing of sorts that in the position he was Josh could clearly hear every transmission over the Secret Service's radios.

'Who's been hit? Who's been hit?!'

'Bookbag! Who has Bookbag?'

'Flamingo's down!'

Josh blanched....../Oh God, not Claudia Jean...../

'We need ambulances STAT! Flamingo and Princeton are both down!'

Josh squeezed his eyes shut...../Why was this happening? Why were his friends being shot down right before his eyes? Sam, hang in there./

********

The first person Josh saw when he stepped into the waiting room at George Washington University Hospital was Caitlin Bartlet flanked on either side by a shattered looking Charlie Yong and a tear stricken Zoey Bartlet.

Caitlin practically tackled Josh in a bear hug. 'Thank God you're okay.'She pulled back slightly to appraise him.'You are okay?'

Josh nodded. 'Yeah, just a sprained ankle.'He looked past Caitlin to the others. 'How's Sam?'

Caitlin swallowed hard and struggled to keep the tears back but failed. 'They just took him up to surgery, Josh.....h-he's been shot in the stomach and lost a lot of blood......I'm so scared, Josh......'

'Ssssssh.'Josh replied soothingly as he drew her into an embrace. 'Sam Seaborn is a fighter. He's not going to leave you.....'

After a few minutes Josh glanced at Charlie. 'Do we know anything about the others? How's the President? I heard CJ was hit.....'

Charlie swallowed hard and reached out to squeeze Zoey's hand. 'The President's fine so is Leo. A bullet grazed CJ's right side and she got a concussion when she hit the ground. The doctors are keeping her overnight for observation, Danny's with her. Toby has several bruised ribs and a shattered collarbone they're keeping him here too.'

Josh pulled Caitlin closer as he closed his eyes resting his chin on the top of her head.

'Everything will be okay, Caitlin.'Josh whispered as he watched Charlie pull Zoey into his arms.'It has t be.'

\------------

"......Donna had a very rough delivery when Rachel was born."Sam was saying when Josh forced his attention back to the present. "We nearly lost her during the c-section. Josh stayed with her the entire time. Due to the amount of blood loss Donna suffered she didn't regain consciencous until twenty-four hours later. Josh was a wreck."

Josh swallowed hard and fingered Donna's ring in his jacket pocket. He had been so afraid that night....more afraid than he had been during the shooting. Rachel had come through the birth fine but Donna had hemorrhaged......the nurses had tried to get him to leave so they could try to control the bleeding but Josh hadn't budged......Donna was his life and he wasn't leaving her. Josh quickly slammed the door shut on those memories before they could overwhelm him. Now was not the time.....he had to concentrate on the hearing and Rachel's future. That was all that mattered now.

"How much time did Josh spend with his daughter?"

Sam grinned. "Every second he could. His lecture schedule had him traveling sometimes two to three times a week. But when he was home, he was home. Josh would call me and say that he took Rachel to her first Cubs game or a pony ride."

"Would you say that Josh was reluctant to file these proceedings?"

Sam glanced at his friend. "Yes. I've never seen him happier than he was during his marriage to Donna and then when Rachel came along it was just added bliss."

Burnel nodded. "Thank you, Mr. Seaborn, no further questions."

Templeton turned to Donna's attorney. "Ms. Nagy?"

Marilyn stood and walked around the table. "Mr. Seaborn, being so close friends to Mr. Lyman I'm assuming that he called and told you that he was filing for divorce?"

Sam shook his head. "No."

"Didn't that come as a surprise to you?"

"Yes they were very happy the last time we saw them."

"This was before the incident of June 22nd?"

"Yes."

"On that night the fire department was called to the Lyman's home even though there was no actual fire found. Mr. Seaborn can you enlighten the Court as to why Mr. Lyman reacted so violently?"

"He thought his daughter was in danger."

"There's more to it than that, isn't there, Mr. Seaborn?"

Sam glanced at Josh before replying. "When he was little Josh's sister Joanie perished in a fire."

"So would you say that losing his sister has affected his mental state?"

Sam's eyes narrowed sharply. "As a loss of a sibling would affect anyone."

"If I recall the investigator's report correctly, Mr. Seaborn, Joanie was babysitting Josh, so they were both alone in the house."

Burnel stood. "Objection! What does a thirty year old event have to do with this proceeding?"

"I'm trying to establish Mr. Lyman's mental state."Nagy replied crisply as she met Templeton's gaze.

"In case opposing counsel has forgotten Mr. Seaborn is not a psychiatrist."Burnel stated as he leaned on the table.

"A valid point."Templeton replied. "But Mr. Seaborn does have some unique insight. Ms. Nagy you may continue. Objection sustained."

"Thank you, Your Honor.""Marilyn replied before turning her attention back to Sam. "Mr. Seaborn, according to the investigator's report Joanie and Josh were alone in the house when the fire started."

"Yes."

"When one sibling escaped the fire and another didn't that had to have some affect on the Lyman family."

"From what Josh told me about the tragedy his mother never got over the loss. His father retreated from the family."

"So on June 22nd when Josh returned home and saw the smoke coming from a dark home would it be safe to say that he over reacted?"

"No."

"Mr. Seaborn this is not the time to....."

"It was his worst nightmare coming true."Sam replied angrily forgetting for a moment that he was interrupting an attorney. "All he knows is that his daughter is inside helpless and there's smoke. Josh doesn't know that there aren't any flames. In his mind even with how young he was Josh couldn't save his sister....he wasn't about to let his daughter suffer the same fate. I wouldn't call that over reacting."

"Even when he blamed his wife for a situation that she couldn't have prevented?"

Sam shook his head. "Donna understood better than anyone what Josh was going through that night."

"Which is why they had a solid marriage before this incident. To the best of your knowledge Mr. Seaborn, was Rachel ever away from her mother for more than a few hours?"

"No."Sam replied with a shake of his head.

"So Donna is an attentive mother?"

"Yes, very."

"Mr. Seaborn, to your knowledge has Donna ever hurt Rachel?"

"No. Donna would never ever hurt her."

Nagy nodded as she stepped away from the stand. 'Thank you, Mr. Seaborn, no further questions."

Judge Templeton turned to the witness stand. "Mr. Seaborn you may step down."

end of part 30 TBC


	31. Chances 31

Title: Chances 

Author: Cindy Brewer 

Disclaimer: I don't own the West Wing characters but the ones you don't recognize are mine.:) 

Rating: PG 

Author's notes: This story is set five years from West Wing's first season. For purposes of this story's timeline Bartlet didn't win reelection. Many thanks to Amanda for letting me borrow Caitlin and for her valuable input on this story.:) Single '' quotation marks indicate a flashback

 

Judge Templeton turned to the witness stand. "Mr. Seaborn you may step down."He turned toward Donna's attorney. "Ms. Nagy, you may call your next witness."

"We call Donna Lyman."

Donna stood and nervously walked to the witness stand where the bailiff swore her in. As she met Josh's gaze a part of her still couldn't believe that things had come this far. That Josh could lose all trust in her was one thing, but to think that she would endanger their daughter was quite another. The bailiff finished and Donna took her place just as her attorney approached.

"Mrs. Lyman, how long had you been married when you found out you were expecting?"

"Three months."

"So this wasn't a planned pregnancy?"

Donna shook her head. "No, but Josh and I were ecstatic."

"Mr. Lyman wasn't surprised?"

"He was but then we both were. We were still newlyweds."

Josh watched Donna as she testified. She looked tired, sad, but determined. Unwillingly a memory surfaced. 'I don't know you any more, Josh.'

"Mr. Lyman stated earlier that you decided to move to Chicago when you got the job offer."

Donna nodded. "Yes. The opportunity to work in Congresswoman Shutlz's office couldn't have come at a better time. There were a lot of bad memories in D.C."

"What was the state of your marriage at the time of the move?"

"It was good. Josh was upbeat about the move. He had been wanting to leave D.C. for awhile."

"While you got settled in your new job did Josh take time off to take care of Rachel?"

Donna shook her head. "No. Even with the prestige of being a former Deputy Chief of Staff at the White House Josh was still a rookie on the lecture circuit."

"So that left Rachel in daycare?"

Donna nodded. "But she was only there for a few hours at a time. My job was really good about letting me spend my lunch hours with Rachel. Even if I had to stay late I'd still pick Rachel up at three and drop her off with one of our neighbors."

"How often did you have to work late?"

"Working in a political office is a different world. There's never a set schedule. My working late would vary depending on what was going on. But a normal day I'd leave by six."

"Do you work weekends?"

"Only if the Congresswoman has a PR event and those only last two to three hours."

As Donna testified Josh glanced down at his folded hands and realized that without thinking he had brought out her wedding band and was rolling it between his hands. Josh glanced from Donna to the ring and back again and a happy memory worked its way into his thoughts.

\---------

Christmas music played softly on a stereo as Josh handed Donna a glass of eggnog before sitting on the sofa next to her. They had decided during Donna's pregnancy that they would celebrate both holidays and when the child was old enough he/she would decide her own faith.

Donna snuggled back against her husband as she glanced at the pile of presents under the tree which was positioned by the bay window. 'Rachel's only eight months old.....her favorite present is going to be the bow.'

Josh laughed as he pulled her close. 'I wasn't the only one who made two trips to the toy store, Donnatella.'

Donna grinned.'We still have stuff in boxes, Joshua. I just wanted to make these holidays special for her.'

'The house is a virtual Santa's village, luv, how could a kid not like it?'

They sat there in companionable silence for several minutes watching the light snow fall. Then Josh gently disentangled himself from his wife and stood.

'Which reminds me....I wanted to give you your present tonight.'Josh stated with a grin as he knelt by the tree and began to dig through the brightly colored boxes. Finding the one he wanted Josh stood and retraced his steps to the sofa.

Donna took the small square shaped present from Josh as he sat down next to her. 'I'm sorry, Josh. I still haven't wrapped yours yet.'

Josh met her gaze as he reached over and tenderly brushed a stray blonde hair away from her face. 'You've already given me the best present I could ever ask for.'

Donna felt tears of joy begin to flow down her cheeks. 'Josh.......'

Josh smiled as he reached over and gently wiped her tears away. 'Open it.'He urged as he sat back against the cushion.

Donna sniffled as she began to tear away the gold paper. Inside she found a small velvet jeweler's box. With slightly shaking hands Donna lifted the lid.

'Oh Josh.....'Donna whispered as she took the silver bracelet out of the box. 'It's beautiful.'

Josh smiled as he watched Donna touch the tiny charm that was attached to the bracelet. He'd gone to three jewelry stores before he saw the bracelet. As soon as he did Josh knew it would be the perfect gift.

Donna traced the charm, which was a silver figure of a mother and child entwined in each other's arms. Between the mother and child was two stones...one Rachel's birthstone the other Donna's.

Josh reached forward and tenderly placed the bracelet around Donna's right wrist. With fresh tears in her eyes Donna enveloped Josh in a hug.

'I love you.'Donna whispered.

'I love you too, more than you'll ever know.'Josh replied quietly as his lips captured hers.

\------------

Josh angrily shoved the memory away.....after all he wasn't the one who destroyed their family.

end of part 31 TBC


	32. Chances 32

Title: Chances 

Author: Cindy Brewer 

Disclaimer: I don't own the West Wing characters but the ones you don't recognize are mine.:) 

Rating: PG 

Author's notes: This story is set five years from West Wing's first season. For purposes of this story's timeline Bartlet didn't win reelection. Many thanks to Amanda for letting me borrow Caitlin and for her valuable input on this story.:) Single '' quotation marks indicate a flashback

 

"Are you able to get days off?"Marilyn Nagy was asking as Josh  
returned his attention to the court proceedings.

Donna nodded. "It's a large office so somebody's usually always able  
to cover for me."

"What about overnight trips?"

"I'm office based so I don't accompany the Congresswoman on trips."

"No further questions."Nagy stated as she turned and walked away from  
the stand.

Donna glanced at the clock on the wall.....nearly three o'clock. She  
wondered if they would be able to finish the hearing......Donna  
didn't know if she could stand a whole weekend of not knowing.

"Mr. Burnel, redirect?"Templeton asked.

"Yes, Your Honor."Steven replied as he stood but remained next to  
Josh.

"Mrs. Lyman, you mentioned that you took care of Rachel first even  
when you worked late. If that's true why did Rachel have to spend the  
night at your neighbors on more than one occasion?"

Donna's eyes narrowed. "That only happened once."

"Was that before or after Mr. Collins resurfaced in your life?"

"After but the stay over was work related. The Congresswoman didn't  
get back from D.C. until eleven thirty and then we still had two more  
hours of work to do. I didn't get home until nearly one and I didn't  
think it was right to wake Rachel only to shift her from one bed to  
the other."

"How many times were you home to cook dinner for your daughter?"

"Ninety five percent of the time."

"Isn't that being a little optimistic?"

"No....some weeks Josh didn't travel at all so it worked out."

"Let's go back to Mr. Collins.....what does he do for a living?"

"He's a pediatrician at a hospital in Boston."

"Is he married?"

"Separated....they're going through a nasty divorce."

"Did you keep in touch after high school?"

"No."

"So this was just a chance meeting?"

"Yes."

"Since the beginning of June when this chance meeting occurred how  
often did Mr. Collins come to Chicago?"

"Twice."

"Twice including that original visit or twice after?"

"Twice after."

"Both trips were business related?"

"Yes."

"He's a pediatrician Mrs. Lyman, that narrows down the scope of his  
business trips. Was he here for seminars? Conferences?"

"I assumed they were seminars."

"But you don't know for sure?"

"No."

"On the night of June 22nd were you out with Mr. Collins?"

"Yes, we met for dinner downtown."

"Why did you get a sitter instead of dropping her at your neighbors?"

"The Dismukes were out of town that week."

"So you got Becky Haskel to baby-sit?"

"Yes."

"How old is she?"

"Fifteen."

"Do you know how much babysitting experience she had before that  
night?"

"From what I've heard she had been babysitting since she was twelve.  
The Dismukes recommended her highly."

"Had you used her before that night?"

"No."

"What did the Fire Department say the official cause of the fire was?"

"There wasn't an actual fire."

"But you did call the fire department that night, did you not?"

"Josh did."

"So you didn't arrive home until after?"

"Yes."

"Despite the strain on your marriage your relationship with Mr.  
Collins stayed platonic?"

"Yes."

As his attorney continued to question Donna, Josh found himself not  
being able to concentrate.  What Sam had said to him two days before  
echoed through his mind.

'Don't you see Josh that you have?"Sam stated as he moved to stand in  
front of his friend. "You're blaming Donna for something she couldn't  
have prevented and you feel that the only way you think you can take  
revenge against her is by taking Rachel away.'

Josh blinked./Was that what he was doing? Could he really have turned  
into the kind of person that he swore he would never become? Like his  
father.....never giving a person the benefit of a doubt? Never giving  
them a second chance?/

'Being a child of divorce is the same no matter what the age or what  
the situation. Don't let Rachel grow up that way, Josh. You're a  
terrific father....but she needs the support of both  
parents....support of a family. That won't happen if you raise her on  
your own no matter how much you love her.'

/Could what Donna had been trying to tell him really be the truth?  
Could she really just have been in that hotel room taking a shower  
after getting caught in the rain? Donna had never lied to him  
before...../

"Not even a kiss for old times sake?"

"We were both married, Mr. Burnel."

"If you were both so devoted to your marriage what were you doing in  
his hotel room before nine in the morning on August 20th?"

"I wanted to catch Dan before he left town. I needed to apologize. He  
got caught in the middle of a huge fight Josh and I had the night  
before."

"You needed to apologize to him without your clothes on?"

Donna glared at Burnel. "I had clothes on."

"That's right, my mistake, you had the hotel robe on."Burnel replied  
as he walked around the table and started toward the stand.

Donna blinked back the tears that threatened to flow. "Dan let me  
borrow the shower."

"After you had sex?"

The tears came as Donna remembered the hurt in Josh's eyes. "No! Dan  
and I never slept together!"

"You expect us to believe that, Mrs. Lyman? You were in his hotel  
room at nine in the morning and all you did was talk?"

'This isn't about sides, Josh! It's about truth.....Donna loves  
you.....has since the first time she met you.'

Josh sank back in the chair as Sam's earlier statement hit him like a  
ton of bricks. Donna loved him like no one else had.....she never had  
an affair with Collins.....how could he have ever doubted her? And  
how the hell was he going to fix the king sized mess he had made out  
of his life?

"Its the truth!"Donna nearly shouted forgetting her attorney's  
earlier orders to remain calm."No matter what Josh thinks.....I would  
never betray him! My marriage....my family mean the world to me."

"Come now, Mrs. Lyman are you telling us that even in the darkest  
times.....during your worst fights....you never even considered  
hopping into Collins bed?"

"No!"

"Not even to get revenge against your husband? After all the pain  
he's caused you?"

"I would never betray Josh."Donna repeated firmly the tears having  
slowed.

"But in a way he betrayed you, didn't he? He was never home. Never  
there in the middle of the night when Rachel awoke from a nightmare.  
Never there when she took her first step or said her first real  
word.....never there...."

"Stop it!"Josh shouted as he slammed his fist against the table  
instantly drawing everyone's attention. "This has gone way too far!"

"Josh...."Steven hissed warningly as he turned to face his client.

"Mr. Lyman, you are out of line."Judge Templeton began tersely.

Burnel looked back at the Judge as he made his way over to  
Josh. "Your Honor, I'd like to request a ten minute recess so I can  
confer with my client."

Templeton glanced over at Donna's attorney. "Any objections, Ms.  
Nagy?"

Marilyn shook her head. "No, Your Honor."

"Very well Mr. Burnel, the court will recess for ten  
minutes."Templeton replied as he brought the gavel down.

As Josh and his attorney walked out of the courtroom Caitlin glanced  
at her husband.

"What do you think that was all about?"Sam whispered as he looked at  
Donna.

Caitlin grinned as she reached over and squeezed Sam's hand. "Call me  
a hopeless romantic, Sam, but I think Josh is finally realizing what  
a huge mistake he's making."

**********

"Josh, do you realize what you've done?"Steven whispered harshly as  
the two stood at the end of the hall near the window. "With your  
outburst it'll be easier to freeze hell than to win this custody  
hearing."

Josh shoved his hands into the pockets of his suit jacket  
effiectively replacing Donna's ring. "Weren't you listening in there,  
Steven? I don't want to win this."

Burnel blinked in surprise. "Since when? You were fired up when we  
went in there this morning. What changed?"

"I finally came to my senses."Josh replied quietly as he looked out  
the window at the busy Chicago street below. "I know I've blown  
whatever chance I had with Donna but I won't allow Rachel to grow up  
in a shattered family. I know what that's like and I won't let that  
happen to her."

Burnel nodded. "Okay so we drop the custody petition. Do you still  
want to continue the divorce?"

Josh tore his attention away from the window. "Let me get through  
this first, Steven then I'll figure out what to do with the divorce."

Burnel glanced at his watch. "Our time's up....let's head back in."

**********

When they reentered the court room Josh saw that Donna had retaken  
her seat next to her attorney. He met her gaze briefly before joining  
Steven at their table.  
Their marriage.......their relationship had survived so much in the  
past Josh couldn't believe that there wasn't at least one last chance  
left in it.

"Mr. Burnel, are you ready to proceed?"Judge Templeton asked.

Steven nodded. "Yes, Your Honor. My client wishes to drop his  
petition for full custody and allow the child's mother to be the  
primary custodian."

Templeton glanced at Josh. "Are you aware of what this entails, Mr.  
Lyman?"

Josh nodded. "Yes.  I filed the petition because I was hurt and  
jealous. If Donna wants me out of her life after this I don't blame  
her....but Rachel won't suffer for my mistakes. She needs both her  
parents."

"Very well, Mr. Lyman. The Court acknowledges that the custody  
petition is dismissed."

end of part 32 TBC


	33. Chances 33

Title: Chances 

Author: Cindy Brewer 

Disclaimer: I don't own the West Wing characters but the ones you don't recognize are mine.:) 

Rating: PG 

Author's notes: This story is set five years from West Wing's first season. For purposes of this story's timeline Bartlet didn't win reelection. Many thanks to Amanda for letting me borrow Caitlin and for her valuable input on this story.:) Single '' quotation marks indicate a flashback

 

"Very well, Mr. Lyman. The Court acknowledges that the custody petition is dismissed."

Donna shakily rose to her feet along with everyone else as Templeton left the courtroom. As soon as the Judge left Donna quickly sat back down her legs not being able to support her full weight.

Marilyn glanced at her client with concern just as Sam and Caitlin approached. "Donna, are you alright?"

Donna nodded weakly. "Yeah, just need a minute to take this all in."

As Josh and Burnel passed then Caitlin stepped past her husband intent on following her friend. Sam placed a restraining hand on her shoulder.

"Give him a few minutes, Caitie."Sam urged gently. "He's just done a hundred and eighty degree turn in less than an hour.....it's gotta be a lot to deal with."

"Okay."Caitlin replied quietly as she turned her attention back to Donna. "We can stay here as long as you need, Donna."

Donna shook her head as she stood. "No, I'm okay, Cait. I just don't believe it.....what happened to make Josh change his mind? Yesterday he was all set to take her away from me."

Caitlin glanced at her husband. "Sam talked to him beforehand."

Sam shook his head. "I didn't say anything that good. When I left Josh was still determined to go through with the hearing."

Nagy snapped her briefcase shut and turned to face the Seaborns. "Whatever it was we shouldn't look a gift horse in the mouth, as the saying goes. Donna I'll meet with you in a couple days to finalize the paperwork."

Donna shook her hand. "Thank you for everything."

Marilyn smiled."My pleasure, Donna. I'm just happy that everything worked out as it should."

********

It was nearly eight thirty before Caitlin and Sam were able to return to their hotel room. Donna had seemed almost back to her old self when they had picked up Rachel.

"You want to get something to eat?"Sam asked as they sank down onto the corner of the bed.

Caitlin wearily nodded. "Only if its room service, Sam. I'm too tired to go out."

"Exactly what I was thinking."Sam replied with a tired smile as he stood and walked over to the phone."Pizza, okay?"

"Fine."Caitlin replied as she flopped back onto the bed resting her right arm across her closed eyes.

"It'll be about twenty minutes."Sam reported as he hung up the phone and moved closer to his wife.

"We should check on Josh."Caitlin commented as she sat up.

"I saw him in the lobby when I went down there earlier to get a package from Peter."Sam replied quietly."He saw me but didn't approach......there's definitely still some hurt feelings all around."

"Which is exactly why I need to go talk to him."Caitlin said as she turned to face Sam. "We need to let him know that we're still the three musketeers."

Sam reached up and tenderly caressed his wife's left cheek. "He knows that, Caitie. Tomorrow will be soon enough to talk to him.....Josh took a big step today dropping the custody petition but there's still a lot they need to work out."

******

Around six the next morning Caitlin finally gave up on sleep and quietly got out of bed. She didn't know what it was but whatever method she had tried Caitlin hadn't been able to fall asleep. Maybe it was the stress of the past week finally catching up with her. Careful not to disturb Sam, Caitlin left the lights off and grabbed a green t-shirt and jeans from her suitcase before walking into the bathroom.

A few minutes later Caitlin opened the door to leave and came face to face with Josh who had been just about to knock.

"Sam's still asleep."Caitlin whispered as she closed the door behind her.

"Okay."Josh replied as he stepped back. "Can I talk to you, Cait? If you have other plans I understand....I just...."

Caitlin smiled as she placed a hand on his shoulder. "Let's go get some breakfast. I just have to leave a note for Sam."

end of part 33 TBC

 


	34. Chances 34

Title: Chances 

Author: Cindy Brewer 

Disclaimer: I don't own the West Wing characters but the ones you don't recognize are mine.:) 

Rating: PG 

Author's notes: This story is set five years from West Wing's first season. For purposes of this story's timeline Bartlet didn't win reelection. Many thanks to Amanda for letting me borrow Caitlin and for her valuable input on this story.:) Single '' quotation marks indicate a flashback

 

Twenty minutes later Caitlin and Josh sat in the hotel restaurant. Josh took a few bites of his omelet before pushing his plate aside.

Caitlin glanced up from her French toast. "Is the omelet bad?"

Josh shook his head. "No, it's fine."

"Did you get any sleep?"Caitlin asked as she saw the dark circles under his eyes.

"No. I had a lot to work out."Josh replied quietly as he took a sip of coffee.

"You did a good thing by dropping the petition, Josh."Caitlin stated with a smile.

"Yeah."Josh replied as he met her gaze. "Cait, I know I've strained a lot of friendships during this....some I may never get back. I have no right to ask you this but I need a favor."

"Name it."Caitlin replied as she reached over and squeezed his hand.

Josh reached into the inside pocket of his suit jacket and pulled out a thin white envelope. "Can you give this to Donna next time you see her?"

Caitlin nodded as she took the envelope. "I'll give it to her this afternoon. But are you sure that you don't want to give it to her yourself?"

Josh shook his head miserably. "I've made such a mess of things, Cait that I can't face her right now."

"Morning."Sam greeted as he approached the table. "What are you two doing up so early?"

"Couldn't sleep."Caitlin replied as she gave her husband a quick kiss.

Sam nodded as he glanced from Josh to Caitlin and back again. "Everything okay here?"

Josh smiled. "Fine."He replied as Seaborn sat down.

"Samuel,"Josh began."I heard the Cubs have a late game today, wanna go?"

Sam recognized the olive branch his friend was offering. "Sure, you got tickets?"

Josh feigned looking hurt. "Sam, would I offer if I didn't already have the tickets?"

"Yes."Caitlin and Sam replied in unison as the three friends broke into laughter.

Josh grinned as he held up a hand in defense. "Hey, that time wasn't my fault. The computers at the ticket place crashed."

Caitlin smiled and leaned against Sam's shoulder glad to see Josh back to his normal self and the three musketeers back together again.

********

"Caitlin!"Donna exclaimed with a grin as she opened the door around three that afternoon. "What on Earth...."

Caitlin peeked over the top of the three grocery bags she was carrying. "Are you just going to stand there or are you going to help?"

Donna laughed as she quickly grabbed two of the bags from her friend and followed Caitlin into the house. "What did you do? Buy out the whole store? I have food you know, Cait."

Caitlin grinned. "Not the good stuff and by that I mean junk food."She replied as she set the bag down on the kitchen counter. "I figured we could have a girls night and rent a few movies."

Donna's face lit up. "Great idea. I don't think we've done that since I moved out."

Donna placed her bags next to Caitlin on the counter and began putting stuff away. "And for your information I do have junk food."

Caitlin grinned recalling the health food kick Josh had gotten on in the last year or so. "One half gallon of cookie dough ice cream doesn't count, Donna."

Donna paused as she took a bag of Oreo's out of the bag. "Cait, do you even realize what I had to do to sneak that into the grocery cart?"She replied with a grin

Caitlin laughed. "I can just see you sending Josh to the farthest isle of the store to get something you don't need."

Donna grinned. "It was a necessary recon mission."

Caitlin walked over to the living room and glanced in the empty playpen. "Where's Rachel?"

Donna glanced at the stairs. "Taking a nap, hopefully."

Caitlin nodded as she returned to the kitchen. "I'll go up and peek in on her."

Donna's next question halted Caitlin on the first step. "Cait, did you see Josh today?"

Caitlin turned and stepped off the stairs. She had been hoping to give Donna Josh's envelope later not having wanted to upset Donna right away.

"Yeah."Caitlin replied quietly as she reached into her purse and took out the envelope. "We had breakfast this morning. He asked me to give this to you."

Donna warily took the envelope hoping it wasn't another legal maneuver. "Do you know what it is?"She asked as she walked into the living room.

Caitlin shook his head. "No, he didn't say."She paused and saw that Donna was staring at the envelope turning it over and over in her hands. "I'll go check in on Rachel and give you a few minutes."

"Thanks."Donna replied quietly as she walked over and sat down on the sofa.

Caitlin watched her for a moment before turning and walking up the stairs. She could only hope that Josh's soul searching had also come with the realization that he needed Donna in his life.

end of part 34 TBC

 


	35. Chances 35

Title: Chances 

Author: Cindy Brewer 

Disclaimer: I don't own the West Wing characters but the ones you don't recognize are mine.:) 

Rating: PG 

Author's notes: This story is set five years from West Wing's first season. For purposes of this story's timeline Bartlet didn't win reelection. Many thanks to Amanda for letting me borrow Caitlin and for her valuable input on this story.:) Single '' quotation marks indicate a flashback

 

Sam and Josh sat in box seats along the right field line at Wrigley Field as they waited for the game to start.

"I've never been here."Sam stated as he looked around the old ballpark.

Josh glanced at his friend in surprise. "With all the trips we've made to Illinois you've never been to Wrigley?"

Sam shook his head. "Was never any time. This was a good idea."

"I do have them on rare occasions."Josh replied as a shadow of sadness crossed over his face. "Not that the recent past is any indication of that."

"Donna loves you."Sam stated as he turned to face his friend. "She'll come around and you two can get past this."

Josh shook his head. "I don't know if I deserve a second chance from her after all I've put us through with my stupidity. "

"Have you talked with Donna?"Sam asked.

"No."Josh replied just as the announcer came over the speakers stating that the National Anthem would begin shortly. "But I gave Caitlin something to give to Donna that I hope will begin to mend things."

"Need my help on anything?"Sam asked with a smile.

Josh shook his head. "No, but I'll let you know."

******

Donna sat on the sofa staring at the envelope not wanting to open it. It was too thick to be a letter....too thin to be any kind of legal document. She shouldn't read it. She should just toss whatever it was in the trash and be done with it. He had shattered their family.....their relationship......he had tried to take the most precious thing in the world away from her. Now Josh wanted her to forgive him?

Curiosity finally won over and Donna opened the envelope and took out a single piece of yellow notebook paper and recognized Josh's familiar scrawl.

Donnatella,

I can not put into words how I'm feeling right now. Perhaps I should've hired Sam to write this.

You have every right to be angry with me and I wouldn't blame you if you banished me from your life forever.

You and Rachel are the most precious things in my life and always will be. I was a fool to even think that you would endanger our daughter in any way. I apologize for the heartache I've caused you over the last few months.

Donna, you know me better than anyone ever has. Maybe through that understanding you can someday forgive me for my idiotic behavior.

I know I'm asking a lot of you for what I'm about to ask. If you can find it in your heart to give me a second chance I promise I'll never leave you again.

I've enclosed an airline ticket for you to Honolulu. Please Donnatella, if you can meet me there....we have a lot to talk about. If not for us, if not for our marriage.....at least do it for Rachel.

Just one weekend that's all I'm asking. If you don't come I'll be out of your life forever.

I love you,

Josh

Donna set the letter in her lap and took out the other contents of the envelope. Besides Josh's letter there was a first class round trip airline ticket to Hawaii and information on the hotel where she would meet Josh.

Donna sighed and sank back into the cushions and closed her eyes. Josh had a lot of nerve asking her to come on Rachel's behalf. Not to mention the fact that he knew Hawaii was a weakness for her....it was where they had almost went on their honeymoon before their schedules got to hectic and they had to postpone.

"You okay?"Caitlin asked quietly as she came downstairs breaking into Donna's thoughts.

Donna nodded as she opened her eyes and stood slowly turning to face her friend. "He sent me an airline ticket."

Caitlin blinked. "Just an airline ticket?"

Donna shook her head. "No there was also a letter asking me to meet him in Hawaii so we could talk."

"Hawaii?"Caitlin repeated wincing inwardly.

"Yeah."Donna replied as she held up the letter. "And he had the nerve to ask me to come on Rachel's behalf....after everything."

"Are you going to go?"Caitlin asked quietly.

"I don't know."Donna replied as she sank back down onto the sofa. "Part of me is so furious with him and the other doesn't know what to feel. Josh is such a huge part of my life, Cait."

"Isn't that reason enough to go?"Caitlin prompted gently.

"Maybe."Donna replied as she looked back at the letter.

Rachel's cries broke the silence and Donna stood placing Josh's envelope on the table.

"I'll get her."Caitlin offered but Donna shook her head.

"No, it's okay."Donna replied softly as she turned and walked toward the stairs. "With Rachel up you do realize that one of the videos we rent has to be a Disney movie?"

Caitlin grinned. "I figured that. I'll run to the video store and be right back."

Donna nodded and quickly walked upstairs as Rachel's cries became louder.

end of part 35 TBC

 


	36. Chances 36

Title: Chances 

Author: Cindy Brewer 

Disclaimer: I don't own the West Wing characters but the ones you don't recognize are mine.:) 

Rating: PG 

Author's notes: This story is set five years from West Wing's first season. For purposes of this story's timeline Bartlet didn't win reelection. Many thanks to Amanda for letting me borrow Caitlin and for her valuable input on this story.:) Single '' quotation marks indicate a flashback

 

"With that win they have a shot at actually getting in the playoffs."Sam commented excitedly as he and Josh sat in a Greek restaurant a few blocks from Wrigley Field.

Josh nodded as he glanced at his watch....nearly seven. He wondered if Donna had read his letter yet.

Sam grinned as he waved his hand in front of Josh's eyes to get his attention. "Earth to Josh...."

"I heard you."Josh replied as he took a sip of water. "Cubs in the playoffs. They've been there before and blew it."

Sam nodded deciding to change the subject. "So are you going to fill me in on your plan?"

Josh sighed. "The plan won't work if she doesn't read the letter."

Sam blinked. "What letter?"

"The one I gave Cait this morning."

"You asked Donna to come back to you in a letter?"

"Yeah....bad move?"

"Josh after everything you put her through Donna needs more than a letter."

Josh glared at his friend slightly as the waitress arrived with their meals. "I did give her more than a letter."

Relief flashed across Sam's blue eyes. "Jewelry is always a good move."

Josh shook his head. "It wasn't jewelry."

Sam raised an eyebrow. "Please tell me you didn't buy her a kitchen appliance."

The waitress left as Josh replied. "I know better than that, Samuel."

"So?"Seaborn prompted with a grin. "What was it?"

"You're not going to let this go, are you?"

"You know I'll just get it from Caitie later."

"I sent her an airline ticket."

"To where?"

"Hawaii."

Sam shook his head. "Josh......"

Josh's head snapped up. "It'll work."

Sam broke a piece of bread in half and took a bite. "Donna was very disappointed when you two didn't go to Hawaii on your honeymoon."

Josh nodded. "That's why I asked her to meet me there. Could be a new beginning for us."

*******

One viewing of Mary Poppins and one deep dish pepperoni pizza later Donna glanced at the clock on the fireplace mantel and saw that it was seven o'clock. Donna smiled, as she looked down at Rachel nearly asleep in the crook of her arm. She looked so much like Josh that it made Donna's heart break sometimes.

"I'm going to put her to bed."Donna stated as she stood.

Caitlin nodded as she picked up the empty pizza box and started toward the kitchen. "I'll call Sam and see if he wants to join us for dessert."

Donna paused at the foot of the stairs. "Cait, thank you for tonight but I need to spend some time alone to think about Josh's letter."

Caitlin turned to face her friend. "Are you sure?"

Donna nodded. "Yeah. Josh asked for a second chance and he deserves an answer. Right now I just don't know what to tell him."

Caitlin nodded as she moved forward and gave her friend a quick hug. "Okay. You know where I am if you need anything."

"Thanks."Donna replied quietly before turning and walking upstairs.

*******

Caitlin returned to the hotel twenty minutes later to find Sam wasn't back yet. She called Josh's room and received no answer. After replacing the receiver Caitlin sat down on the bed and flipped on the tv. She tried to concentrate on a sitcom but after a few minutes Caitlin reached for the phone and dialed a familiar number.

"Hi Mom, you busy?"

"No sweetie."Abby Bartlet replied as she sat down at the kitchen table. "How did the custody hearing go?"

"Josh dropped the petition."

"That's wonderful news."Abby replied as Jed stepped into the kitchen."How's Donna?"

"Elated but in shock. Josh asked Donna to reconcile."

Abby caught something in her daughter's voice. "She refused?"

Caitlin shook her head. "No, she's thinking about it. I just wish I could do more to help."

"All you can do is be there for them."Abby replied as she met Jed's gaze."Donna and Josh have been through a lot and I have a good feeling that they'll pull through this as well."

end of part 36 TBC


	37. Chances 37

Title: Chances 

Author: Cindy Brewer 

Disclaimer: I don't own the West Wing characters but the ones you don't recognize are mine.:) 

Rating: PG 

Author's notes: This story is set five years from West Wing's first season. For purposes of this story's timeline Bartlet didn't win reelection. Many thanks to Amanda for letting me borrow Caitlin and for her valuable input on this story.:) Single '' quotation marks indicate a flashback

 

Donna returned to the living room after putting Rachel to bed. She picked up the dishes from the coffee table and placed them in the sink. They'd wait until tomorrow.

Donna shut the lights off downstairs and locked the house up before going back upstairs. She opened her daughter's door quietly and stepped inside. As Donna watched Rachel sleep she couldn't help but think of the birth. Donna hadn't been scheduled for a c-section but Rachel had turned and the doctors were afraid that the cord had wrapped around Rachel's neck.

For Donna the birth itself was a blur but she did clearly remember when she woke the next day.

\--------

'Donna,honey,can you hear me?'

'J-Josh?'

'Right here,luv,right here. You don't know how good it is to see those beautiful blue eyes.'

Donna heard the catch in his voice and she struggled to keep her eyes open. 'Baby?'

Josh smiled as he touched her face tenderly. 'She's as beautiful as her mother.'

'She's okay?'

'Perfect. I love you Donnatella.'

'I love you too, Joshua.'

\----------

Donna pulled the blanket farther up around her daughter's shoulders and left the room.

*********

Caitlin easily caught the baseball cap Sam tossed to her as he stepped into the room a half hour after she ended her phone conversation with her mother.

"How was the game?"Caitlin asked as she placed the cap on her head and stood.

"Cubs won."Sam replied as he pulled his wife into an embrace.

"That's good."Caitlin said softly as she wrapped her arms around his neck and kissed him. "How's Josh?"

"About as he was this morning. He realizes his mistakes and wants to make up for them."

"I gave Donna the letter."

Sam took her hand and led her over to the bed and they sat down."Think she'll go?"

Caitlin took the hat off and absently ran her finger around it's rim. "I don't know, Sam. Josh hurt her deeply."

Sam placed his hand under her chin forcing Caitlin to look at him. "It'll work out, Caitie. They just need some time alone."

"How'd I get so lucky to find you?"Caitlin whispered.

Sam shook his head. "I'm the lucky one."He replied quietly as his lips captured hers.

********

end of part 37 TBC

 


	38. Chances 38

Title: Chances 

Author: Cindy Brewer 

Disclaimer: I don't own the West Wing characters but the ones you don't recognize are mine.:) 

Rating: PG 

Author's notes: This story is set five years from West Wing's first season. For purposes of this story's timeline Bartlet didn't win reelection. Many thanks to Amanda for letting me borrow Caitlin and for her valuable input on this story.:) Single '' quotation marks indicate a flashback

 

Donna turned on the tv as she sat on her bed. She glanced at the clock on the nightstand, nearly ten. Talking with Sam and Cait helped but Donna needed someone who always told her when she was making a mistake even if she didn't want to hear it.

"Naval Station Norfolk?"

"Captain Thomas Moss please."

"One moment."

"Moss?"

"Tommy?"

"Donna, this is a nice surprise. How's the windy city?"

"It's good to hear your voice."

Thomas frowned as he heard the sadness in his baby sister's voice. "What's going on, Donnakins?"

Donna closed her eyes. She should've called Tom when this whole mess started. Now she'd have to relive everything.

"Josh and I are separated."

"What? When did this happen?"

"It came to a head about a month ago."

"Why didn't you call me? You know I'd have been on the next flight."

"I was dealing with a custody fight, Tommy."

Thomas stood. "Lyman tried to take Rachel?"

"He dropped the petition."

"That doesn't matter."

"Tom....."

Tom moved to stand next to the window. "I'm sorry.....how are you doing?"

"Yesterday I thought I was going to lose my little girl, Tommy."Donna replied quietly as she leaned back against the pillow. "Now Josh wants to reconcile. "

Tom shook his head. "He's expecting a lot."

"Just a second chance."

"Are you seriously thinking of giving him one?"

"We've been through a lot together."Donna replied as she glanced at a picture of Josh and Rachel sitting on the other nightstand. "At the very least I should hear him out."

"Did he leave you or did you leave him?"Tom asked trying to piece events together.

"What does that matter?"Donna replied. "It was a misunderstanding that escalated."

"Let me guess Josh overreacted to something."Tom commented as he sat down on the corner of his bed.

Donna sighed. "He accused me of having an affair."

"What? Did he hit his head?"

"Tom."

"Do you still love him?"

"Yes."Donna whispered. "But I just don't know if it's enough."

There was a pause on the line. "Tom?" Donna questioned.

"If you still love him."Tom began."Then you owe it to yourself to grab one last chance at happiness."

"Thanks Tommy."Donna stated as she sat up.

"Anytime."Tom commented. "Call me when things get more settled and we'll arrange a day to get together and visit."

"I'd like that."Donna replied softly. "Have a good night."

"You too."Tom stated as he ended the conversation.

*********

The next morning Sam and Caitlin returned from breakfast to find a message from Donna. Caitlin sat down on the bed and quickly called her friend back.

"Hello?"Donna answered on the third ring.

"Hi, it's Caitlin. Just got your message."

"Can you and Sam watch Rachel for a few days?"

"Of course. Did you make a decision?"Caitlin asked her question catching Sam's attention and he moved toward her.

Donna shook her head. "No, but I need to at least hear him out. Our family deserves that chance." "Anything else you need me to do?"Caitlin asked as she reached over and took Sam's hand in hers as he sat down next to her.

"Just don't tell Josh I'm going."Donna replied as she moved toward her bedroom closet to pick up her suitcase.

"Donna...."Caitlin began.

"Cait, please......talking to Josh before hand is the last thing I need right now."Donna replied as she started to pack. "Besides he said in his letter to just meet him."

"Okay."Caitlin stated. "When do you need us to take Rachel?"

"The flight's at three. I really appreciate everything you guys have done this past couple weeks. I know you dropped everything."

"It's no problem, Donna."Caitlin replied quietly. "We're happy to do whatever we can to help you guys."

"You guys can stay here at the house.....it'll be more comfortable for Rachel and for you."Donna commented."Trust me dealing with a toddler in a hotel room can be more stressful than Toby on his worst day."

Caitlin laughed. "I don't know about that. We'll be over as soon as we check out."

"Thanks Cait."Donna replied as she hung up.

**********

Josh arrived in Honolulu around noon Hawaii time wanting to get things ready for when Donna arrived later that afternoon. When she arrived not if.....Josh had to believe that after everything that had happened she'd come. As he stepped back into his hotel suite Josh saw that the hotel staff had out did themselves. Everything was exactly as he had requested.

Now all he could do was wait.

*****

Donna arrived at the hotel that was nestled in a cove toward the end of the famous Waikiki beach. The plane ride had been bumpy so she hadn't been able to get the sleep she had expected to. But as soon as Donna had stepped out of the airport the tropical air had instantly revived her. She was actually finally here.....Hawaii in all its glory. It just wasn't fair that she was here to decide if her marriage was worth saving.

end of part 38 TBC

 


	39. Chances 39

Title: Chances 

Author: Cindy Brewer 

Disclaimer: I don't own the West Wing characters but the ones you don't recognize are mine.:) 

Rating: PG 

Author's notes: This story is set five years from West Wing's first season. For purposes of this story's timeline Bartlet didn't win reelection. Many thanks to Amanda for letting me borrow Caitlin and for her valuable input on this story.:) Single '' quotation marks indicate a flashback

 

Donna approached the front desk and checked in and followed the bellhop to the bank of elevators. Once they arrived on her floor Donna was taken aback to find the bellhop unlocking the door to a suite. She had been expecting a normal sized room with an ocean view....not a suite......not that she was complaining but it wasn't typical Josh to splurge. But maybe that was what Josh was trying to prove....that he was changing.

"Do you need anything else, Mrs. Lyman?"The bellhop asked regaining Donna's attention.

Donna tore her gaze away from the spectular view and shook her head. "No, thank you."She replied as she reached into her purse for a tip.

The young black haired man shook his head with a smile. "Tip's already taken care of, Ma'am. Have a pleasant stay."

"Thank you."Donna replied quietly as she shut the door behind him.

Donna walked through the room and opened the sliding glass door to the balcony. It was only as she passed the bed on her way back that she noticed the single red rose lying on top of a folded white piece of stationary.

Donna sat down and opened the letter.

Donnatella,

Thank you for coming. I know it took a lot for you to do so.

Hope the room meets your needs. Once you're settled I'd be honored if you could meet me for dinner in my room. It's number 816.

Josh

Donna set the letter down and picked up the rose lifting it to her face. Part of her wanted to turn his dinner invitation down.....return a little of the heartache that he had given her over the last few months. But the other half knew that Josh had gone to a lot of trouble to set up this trip......the least she could do was share a meal with him.

Donna set the rose down carefully and glanced at the clock. She had just under two hours to take nap, take a shower and get ready.

********

By six thirty Josh had double-checked everything for the millionth time. The hotel staff had set up a small table on the balcony. It was beautifully set with a centerpiece of roses and two silver candlestick holders flanking the centerpiece.

As Josh walked back into the room he flipped on the stereo.....Donna had always liked to dance even when he tripped over his two left feet and stepped on her toes. At the Inaugural Ball Josh had been surprised when Donna hadn't given up on him for other more capable dance partners.

\----------

'Just a guess, Joshua, you haven't danced much?'Donna asked with a smile as she quickly moved her right foot before Josh could stomp on it again.

Josh grinned sheepishly. 'Does the Prom count? I did go to a couple college dances.'

'Josh it's a slow song....you don't have to move your feet as much.'

Josh pulled her close. 'Sorry I keep stepping on your feet.'

Donna grinned. 'It's okay.Though now I have blackmail material on you.'

Josh glared at her slightly. 'Knowing how to dance isn't necessary for the job description of Deputy Chief of Staff.'

'How do you know?'

'It's in the handbook.'

'There isn't a handbook.'

'Yes there is.'

'Okay I'll ask Leo for it in the morning.'

'Donnatella......'

'I was kidding, Joshua.'Donna replied with a smile as she rested her head on his chest.

\----------

A knock on the door pulled Josh's thoughts back to the present. Taking a deep breath Josh moved to answer it.

end of part 39 TBC

 


	40. Chances 40

Title: Chances 

Author: Cindy Brewer 

Disclaimer: I don't own the West Wing characters but the ones you don't recognize are mine.:) 

Rating: PG 

Author's notes: This story is set five years from West Wing's first season. For purposes of this story's timeline Bartlet didn't win reelection. Many thanks to Amanda for letting me borrow Caitlin and for her valuable input on this story.:) Single '' quotation marks indicate a flashback

The song used in this part is 'Best of Intentions' by Travis Tritt...no copyright infrigement is intended.

 

"Hi."Josh greeted as he opened the door relief washing over him....she was really here.

"Hi."Donna replied quietly.

"You look great."Josh replied as he noticed the simple red cocktail dress Donna was wearing.

"So do you."Donna commented glad she had decided to dress casual. Josh was wearing black pants and a light blue polo shirt.

With a start Josh realized they were still standing in the doorway. "Come in. Want anything to drink?"

Donna nodded as she sat down on the sofa. "Some kind of juice would be fine."

Josh squatted down to open and look into the minifridge. "We have pineapple, regular apple, orange strawberry, something green, lemonade, grape."

"Lemonade's fine."Donna replied as she folded her hands on her lap.

Josh nodded and stood as he plucked the glass bottle out of the fridge. He poured it into a glass before turning and handing it to her. "It wasn't very cold so I put ice hope that's okay."

"Ice is okay."Donna replied as she took the glass. As their fingers brushed their eyes locked and for a brief moment it was as if nothing ugly had passed between them.

Josh quickly moved away and sat down in a chair by the balcony doors. He didn't want her to feel crowded by sitting down next to her.

"Sam said you let them stay in the house."Josh commented after clearing his throat.

Donna nodded hating the small talk. "Yeah, I thought it was better to have Rachel home instead of having them try to watch her in a hotel room."

"It was a good idea."Josh replied wondering why he was suddenly nervous around her. After all the only thing he had to do was beg for forgiveness. Something he'd never been good at.

"The hotel's beautiful, Josh."Donna replied as she stood placing the untouched glass of lemonade on a small table.

"CJ recommended it."Josh stated as he joined her on the balcony.

At the mention of their friend Donna turned to face Josh. "How's she doing? Or should I ask where is she?"

Josh grinned. "When I got a hold of her the other night she was in Miami teaching at the University of Miami."

"Dare I ask what time of night you called her at?"Donna asked with a smile as she walked around the beautifully set table to lean against the railing.

"It was midnight here."Josh replied as he moved to stand next to her. "So there wasn't that much time difference besides Claudia Jean's always been a night owl."

"How mad was she?"Donna asked as she turned to face Josh.

Josh glanced at her. "Very but she calmed down once I told her what was going on with us."

Donna nodded and returned her attention to the fantastic sunset. The sun was fading into pinks, purples and red streaks.

As the silence stretched between them for several minutes Josh motioned toward the table. "The food's sitting on a warmer. So whenever you're hungry we can start."

"Now's fine."Donna replied as she turned around and walked toward the table.

Josh nodded and quickly moved forward to pull her chair away from the table. Donna smiled at him as she sat down.

Donna took a sip of water as she watched Josh take two plates from a small cart. She had to admit he was trying very hard not to bring up tender subjects.

"This is Limu Salad."Josh explained as he set the seaweed salad in front of Donna.

"Looks wonderful."Donna replied the growling of her stomach reminding her that she didn't eat on the plane.

Josh sat down across from his wife. "I thought you'd enjoy this better than a crowded restaurant."

"Everything's wonderful, Josh."Donna replied. "Thank you for going to all this trouble."

"You're welcome, Donnatella."Josh stated softly as he met her gaze. "And it wasn't any trouble."

As Donna broke the gaze Josh realized he had left the stereo on in the room. An old Travis Tritt song drifted out catching his attention.

/I had big plans for our future, Said I'd give you the whole world somehow I tried to make good on that promise, Thought I'd be so much further by now Never could build you a castle,

Even though you are the queen of my heart But I've had the best of intentions from the start Now some people think I'm a loser, Cause I seldom get things right/

When Donna looked his way with tears starting to form in her eyes Josh knew she was listening to the song as well. Josh stood and walked over to Donna offering his hand.

Donna nodded and Josh pulled her into his arms just as the song continued.

/But you make me feel like a winner, When you wrap me in your arms so tight Please tell me you will remember,

No matter how much I do wrong That I've had the best of intentions - all along

I give you a ring, and I promised you things I always thought we'd do

But my best-laid plans slipped right through my hands to show my love for you.

And if you could read my heart, Then you'd know without exception It was all with the best of intentions

So here I am asking forgiveness, and praying that you'll understand

Don't think I take you for granted, girl I know just how lucky I am

Know you deserve so much better, you won't find devotion more true

Cause I've had the best of intentions

Girl I've had the best of intentions,

Yes, I've had the best of intentions loving you/

As the song finished Josh pulled away from Donna. He hesitantly reached out to caress her left cheek. More than anything Josh wanted to kiss her right now but knew that would only make matters worse.

The lyrics of the song really hit home for Donna as they danced. She fought against the tears but they came anyway. She had loved Josh from the first moment she saw him.....could they really put things back together?

Donna looked so beautiful against the backdrop of the sunset that Josh nearly lost the will power he was clinging desperately to. If he moved things too fast it'd only push Donna farther away from him. Josh didn't want to lose her again.

"We should eat the rest of our meal before it gets cold."Josh stated huskily as stepped away.

"Right."Donna replied as she wiped away the tears and retook her seat.

end of part 40 TBC

 


	41. Chances 41

Title: Chances 

Author: Cindy Brewer 

Disclaimer: I don't own the West Wing characters but the ones you don't recognize are mine.:) 

Rating: PG 

Author's notes: This story is set five years from West Wing's first season. For purposes of this story's timeline Bartlet didn't win reelection. Many thanks to Amanda for letting me borrow Caitlin and for her valuable input on this story.:) Single '' quotation marks indicate a flashback

 

The rest of the meal passed quickly as they talked about the good times in the White House and after. And soon Donna found herself passing on the offer of dessert.

"No, thank you, Josh."Donna stated as she shook her head. "It looks fantastic but I honestly couldn't eat another bite."

"Okay."Josh replied as he replaced the dessert plates on the cart and sat back down at the table.

For several minutes they sat in silence until Josh spoke. "Would you like to go for a walk on the beach?"

Donna shook her head as she stood. "Maybe tomorrow, Josh. It's late and I want to check in with Cait and Sam before I go to sleep."

"We still need to talk, Donnatella."Josh replied quietly as he followed her into the room.

Donna paused by the door and turned to face her husband. "I know, Josh. Just not tonight it was such a nice evening."

Josh nodded as he opened the door for her. "What about tomorrow afternoon?"

Donna stepped out into the hallway. "That's fine."She reached out and gently touched his right arm. "Thank you for tonight, Josh."

Josh reached forward and tenderly brushed a stray blonde hair away from her face. "You're welcome. Sweet dreams, Donnatella."

Donna smiled as she turned away. "Good night, Josh."

********

The next morning Caitlin paused at the foot of the stairs smiling at the sight that greeted her in the kitchen. It was barely seven thirty but there was Sam feeding Rachel her breakfast....or attempting to.

"You're up early."Caitlin commented with a grin after a few minutes.

Sam glanced at in surprise. "How long were you standing there?"

"Long enough to see who had the upper hand."Caitlin replied as she leaned over to kiss Sam quickly. "How long have you been up?"

Sam smiled as he gestured toward Rachel. "I heard Rachel about six thirty."

"Why didn't you wake me?"Caitlin asked as she pulled a box of cereal from a cabinet next to the stove.

Sam's grin widened. "Caitie, didn't you hear me I said it was six thirty."

"I heard you."Caitlin replied with a smile as she got a bowl and spoon and sat down next to Sam. "What's your point?"

"Caitie, as long as I've know you you've never gotten up before seven."Sam stated as he took a bite of toast.

Caitlin poured milk on her cereal as she shook her head. "I have to gotten up before seven."

"Under protest."Sam replied.

"As long as there was caffeine nearby I was human."Caitlin protested as she gently kicked Sam's right shin."Besides I can recall several times that you weren't a happy camper when the alarm clock went off."

Sam laughed as he took the now empty plate away from Rachel. "Okay point taken. Since we're both up what do you want to do today?"

"We could take Rachel to Navy Pier. Donna told me they haven't taken her on the Ferris wheel yet."

"Good idea."Sam replied as he sat down next to her. "Who gets the shower first?"

Caitlin grinned as she leaned closer to Sam. "We could always share.....you know to conserve water."

Sam moved so their faces were only inches apart. "Conservation is always a nice idea."He replied just as their lips met.

**********

Donna returned from shopping around twelve thirty to find Josh standing outside her hotel room.

"Hi."Donna stated with a smile as she shifted one shopping bag to join the four others in her other hand so she could fish for her room key. "Am I late?"

Josh shook his head a bemused expression on his face as he took in the shopping bags. "No, I'm early. Let me take some of those."He offered as he stepped forward.

"Thanks."Donna replied with a smile as she handed him three bags and then reached forward to open the door.

"Did you buy out the whole island?"Josh asked with a grin as he closed the door behind them.

Donna shook her head. "Nope. Though you missed the shopping trip Cait and I went on last week."

Josh did a double take. "The two of you lose on Michagen Avenue? You didn't drag Sam along did you?"

Donna laughed. "Yes we did and he had fun. Sam even bought something."

Josh feigned horror. "I can just see you two talking him into buying something he'll never need. So what was it? Spare coin polisher? Steering wheel hand warmer?"

Donna placed the rest of the bags on the bed before turning to face Josh. "Nope. Sam bought leather pants."

"Sam bought leather pants?"Josh repeated. "Real leather?"

"And they were orange."Donna replied as she moved to stand next to him.

"Orange? I didn't know they made leather that color."

"Technology does amazing things nowadays Joshua."

"If you say so."

"So do you want to order lunch from room service and then we can talk?"Donna prompted.

Josh shook his head. "Actually I was hoping we could take that walk on the beach. I discovered this spot yesterday that I know you'll love."

Donna nodded as she reached for her purse. "Let's go."She replied as she followed Josh to the door wondering what he had planned.

end of part 41 TBC

 

 


	42. Chances 42

Notes on this part: I have never been to Hawaii so the geographical info in the next couple parts I got from various websites so I apoligize if anything is wrong.

Title: Chances 

Author: Cindy Brewer 

Disclaimer: I don't own the West Wing characters but the ones you don't recognize are mine.:) 

Rating: PG 

Author's notes: This story is set five years from West Wing's first season. For purposes of this story's timeline Bartlet didn't win reelection. Many thanks to Amanda for letting me borrow Caitlin and for her valuable input on this story.:) Single '' quotation marks indicate a flashback

 

Donna was surprised when once outside the hotel they headed for the parking lot.

"I thought we were going for a walk?"Donna asked as they reached Josh's rental car.

Josh smiled as he unlocked the doors."We are."

Twenty minutes later Josh pulled the car into a small gravel parking lot near a sign that said, Mano Falls.

Donna got out of the car and looked around at the lush forest. "Josh, this is beautiful."

Josh moved to stand next to her glad to see some of the sparkle back in her eyes. "Wait till you see the falls."

"Falls?"Donna repeated in awe as she quickly followed Josh to a hiking path. She had always wanted to see some of Hawaii's famous water falls.

"Yes, Donnatella, water falls. Things of nature that propel...."

Donna punched his shoulder lightly. "I know what they are, Joshua."

They walked the rest of the way in silence. As they neared an opening in the forest Donna heard the roar of the Falls. She stepped ahead of Josh in her excitement. When they reached the end of the trail Donna stopped dead at the beautiful sight. Mana Falls cascaded into a small lagoon.

Josh moved to stand next to Donna wanting nothing more than to wrap her in his arms. Instead he put his hands into the pockets of his shorts. "As soon as I saw this place I knew I had to bring you here."

Donna turned to face him. "Thank you, Joshua."She said softly.

Josh offered her his hand and she placed hers in his.Josh pulled her away from the noise of the falls to a nearby stone bench.

Josh glanced at Donna and then at the nearby Falls. He had planned and rehearsed what he would say and now none of the words would come.

After several long moments of awkward silence Josh stood and walked to the edge of the bench.

"Saying I'm sorry doesn't seem to be nearly enough."Josh began as he faced his wife."You've been by my side for years as friend, confidant, lover and wife and I turn around and accuse you of the worst betrayal possible."

Donna opened her mouth to speak but Josh held up his hand. "Let me finish."He said quietly as he returned to his seat next to her.

Josh took a deep breath and let it out slowly. He was about to bring up some very dark memories for both of them but it was all or nothing now.

"When I was shot it drained me emotionally."Josh began softly. "Months after I was still afraid....jumping at unfamiliar sounds....nightmares I couldn't remember. Donna, if it hadn't been for your support I would not have recovered."

Josh reached out and took her hand. "The day we were married was the happiest I had ever been. Then you gave me Rachel and I had the family I never had growing up.

When Hoynes cost us reelection, Donna I thought my political career was over. Bartlet never said anything but I could tell he put part of the blame on me and he was right. I worked for Hoynes. I know how he thinks or thought I did. I should've known he was up to something. I was the Deputy Chief of Staff and I couldn't even keep tabs on the Vice President. Even the polls showed the people's lack of faith in Hoynes and even that didn't set off any warning bells."

Josh looked away from Donna focusing on the water fall."When you got the job offer in Chicago I figured this could be a fresh start for both of us. Leo set me up on the lecture circuit which I enjoyed. But I didn't like how much it took me away from you and Rachel....I missed so much of her first year that I'll never get back.

It seemed like things were slipping away no matter what I did."Josh paused as he looked back at Donna."When I saw you were spending time with Collins no matter how innocent you claimed it was I thought I was losing you too.

The night I came home and saw the smoke...."Josh broke off as his voice trembled."All I could think of was Joanie and how she died. There was no way I was going to lose my little girl the same way. Even after I had Rachel in my arms and out of the house I couldn't stop shaking.

I knew you understood and gave me the space I needed but I still couldn't shake the fear."Josh stopped as Donna reached over and squeezed his hand. He met her gaze and saw her eyes were bright with tears.

end of part 42 TBC

 


	43. Chances 43

Title: Chances 

Author: Cindy Brewer 

Disclaimer: I don't own the West Wing characters but the ones you don't recognize are mine.:) 

Rating: PG 

Author's notes: This story is set five years from West Wing's first season. For purposes of this story's timeline Bartlet didn't win reelection. Many thanks to Amanda for letting me borrow Caitlin and for her valuable input on this story.:) Single '' quotation marks indicate a flashback

 

"Josh, you know I would never put Rachel in danger."Donna replied as she wiped away the tears.

Josh nodded. "I know......"

Donna shook her head as she stood. "No, I don't think you do. Josh, you brought me into court."

Josh ducked his head briefly. "I wasn't thinking clearly, Donna. I was just reacting."

"Reacting?"Donna repeated incredulously as she whirled to face him fists clenched. "Do you have any idea what the last few weeks have been like for me? I not only was served with divorce papers by a husband who didn't trust me any more but also got custody papers accusing me of being a bad mother."

"I was just trying to do what I thought was best for Rachel."Josh replied in a voice barely above a whisper. This was not going as well as he had hoped. Not that he had been so naive to think she would fall into his arms.

Donna's eyes narrowed sharply. "Ripping her away from the only home she's known is what's best for her?!"

"It wasn't what I wanted to do it's what I had to do."Josh replied as he stood gently touching her right shoulder.

Donna shook off his grasp. "How could you Josh? After all the years we've know each other how could you think so little of me as to humiliate me like that?"

"I thought you were with Collins."Josh began as he stepped toward her.

"And that gave you reason to take Rachel away from me?"

"The fire scared the hell out of me, Donna."

"Don't you think it scared me too?"

"Yeah, but...."

"Do you have any idea how I felt when I came home that night to see our home surrounded by fire trucks, ambulance and police cars?"Donna demanded her voice trembling. "I was terrified that something had happened to Rachel since you weren't scheduled to be home for two days."

Josh winced. "I....."

"And then you turn around and accuse me of putting her life in danger simply because I left for a few hours."

"Donna....."

Donna stepped toward him. "Josh, this could've easily happened when you were in town. Do you honestly think I sit around the house while you're out of town doing nothing?"

Josh shook his head. "No."

"In all the years we've known each other have I ever lied to you?"

Josh met her gaze. "No."

"Then how could you possibly think I could betray you like that?"Donna asked quietly.

Josh sighed. "You were spending all that time with Collins and then when I saw you step out of his shower in nothing but a robe I assumed....."

"You assumed wrong."

"I know that now."

"I didn't bring my umbrella that day and I got caught in a thunderstorm. I was soaked to the bone and Dan graciously offered the use of his shower."Donna explained as she stepped toward him gently touching his shoulder. "Nothing ever happened between Dan and I. What we had was over long before we graduated from high school. I hadn't seen him since graduation until the day he showed up on our door step six months ago."

Josh nodded as he took her hand in his. "Is there any chance you can forgive me for being an idiot?"

Donna smiled. "You've always been an idiot, Joshua."

"I'm serious, Donnatella."Josh replied quietly. "Do you think we can start over?"

Donna hesitated. "Josh, marriages need trust."

Josh reached out and caressed her cheek. "I do trust you, Donnatella. Not just with my life but with my heart."

"Josh...."

Josh let go of her hand briefly as he got down on one knee and pulled Donna's wedding ring out of his coat pocket. As Josh met his wife's gaze he held up the ring as he took her right hand with his free hand.

"Donnatella, I know I've hurt you deeply and it'll take you awhile to get past that."Josh began his voice shaking slightly."I won't blame you if you never forgive me but if you let me I will spend the rest of my days making it up to you.

I love you more than life itself.....more than I ever thought possible for one person to love another."Josh paused."Donnatella Marie Moss will you marry me again?"

Donna's throat was so thick with tears that she couldn't speak. She had loved Josh from the moment she saw him and all she had ever wanted resolved of this mess was for their family to be a family again.

"Yes."Donna whispered with a smile.

"Yes?"Josh repeated not sure he heard correctly.

"Yes, Josh I'll marry you now and forever."Donna replied as she took his hand and gently pulled Josh to his feet.

Josh grinned fighting his own tears as he slipped the ring back where it belonged. "I love you, Donnatella."

"I love you, Joshua, always."Donna replied as she pulled him into a passionate kiss.

end of part 43 TBC

 


	44. Chances 44

Title: Chances 

Author: Cindy Brewer 

Disclaimer: I don't own the West Wing characters but the ones you don't recognize are mine.:) 

Rating: PG 

Author's notes: This story is set five years from West Wing's first season. For purposes of this story's timeline Bartlet didn't win reelection. Many thanks to Amanda for letting me borrow Caitlin and for her valuable input on this story.:) Single '' quotation marks indicate a flashback

 

epilog

Three days later found Caitlin struggling to put Rachel down for her afternoon nap. Sam had gone to get them some takeout for lunch. The brown haired woman shifted Rachel to her left arm as she walked around the living room

Caitlin sighed, it'd been nearly a half-hour and she still couldn't get Rachel to settle down no matter how many Disney songs Caitlin sang.

"I've found the tiger helps."Josh recommended as he stepped through the doorway with Donna close behind. "She won't sleep without it so having it nearby at naptime helps."

Caitlin's face lit up as she saw her friends standing hand in hand in the doorway big smiles plastered on both their faces.

"I see Hawaii agreed with you."Caitlin replied with a grin as she walked toward them.

"We can't ever thank you and Sam enough for helping us through this."Donna commented as she took her daughter from Caitlin.

"Speaking of Sam."Josh stated as he walked into the living room placing their suitcases by the stairs. "Where is that pal-of-mine?"

"He went to get lunch, should be back soon."Caitlin replied as she walked toward Josh placing a gentle hand on his shoulder. "So everything is back to normal for you two?"

Josh met Donna's gaze over Caitlin's shoulder and nodded."Better than ever, Cait. In fact Donna agreed to renew our vows."

Caitlin glanced over at Donna with a grin."Need help planning?"

Sam took that moment to enter the house arms laded with two bags of Chinese food. "When did you guys get back and planning what?"

Josh ruffled Rachel's hair as he walked past Donna to take one of the bags of food from Sam. "In order....about ten minutes ago and Caitlin was offering to help plan a party where Donna and I can renew our vows."

Sam grinned. "Its good to have you guys home."

Josh nodded as he started poking around in the bag of Chinese food. "Did you get any sweet and sour pork?"

**********

It was a miracle that's all there was too it. In less than forty eight hours Caitlin and Donna had called in favors and readjusted schedules of former members of President Bartlet's senior staff so they could all be at the party. Not that any real arm-twisting had to be done. Everyone had been anxious to reunite and get caught up on each other's lives.

Caitlin leaned back into her husband's arms as they stood to the side of the Lyman's backyard watching various couples dance. She smiled as she watched Josh twirl Donna around the makeshift dance floor....neither of her friends had left each others side for more than a minute the entire night.

"Getting tired?"Sam asked softly as he pulled her close.

Caitlin shook her head. "No, was just watching Josh and Donna dance."

Sam smiled as he followed her gaze. "They look blissful don't they?"

Caitlin grinned. "I'd say blissful is an understatement....they don't see anyone but each other."

"I know how they feel."Sam replied tenderly as he turned Caitlin around so she was facing him. "Care to dance, Mrs. Seaborn?"

"I'd love to, Mr. Seaborn."Caitlin replied softly as Sam took her hand and led her onto the dance floor.

********

"You've been dying to ask all day so just ask."CJ Cregg said as she took a sip of champagne.

Toby sat down next to her his gaze fixed on the dancing couples. "I was more concerned with how you were doing."

CJ glanced at him. "Danny and I broke up over a year ago, Toby."

Toby took a crabpuff from a nearby plate before replying."You were engaged."

"For six months."CJ replied a little more sharply than she had intended. She didn't know what had hurt more the failure of her relationship with Danny or the loss of the future they should've had just because they couldn't collobarate their careers.

Toby reached over and gently took her hand. "That doesn't mean it hurts any less."

CJ swallowed hard as she squeezed his hand. The next song however made her smile. "Can you tango, Mr. Ziegler?"

*********

Jed and Abby sat at a table at the rear of the backyard. The former President smiled as he saw a tear slide down his wife's face. "Abbigal, you're crying."

Abby glared at him slightly as she wiped the tear away."Am not."

"You always cry at weddings."

"The ceremony was an hour ago, Jed. And this was a renewal ceremony not a wedding."

"At Caitlin's wedding you cried for two hours."

"A mother always cries at her children's weddings."

Jed glanced out at the dance floor where Caitlin and Sam were dancing next to Charlie and Zoey. He reached over and took Abby's hand in his.

"I love you, Abigail."

Abby met his gaze."I love you too, Josiah, always."

********

Zoey laughed as Charlie suddenly dipped her. Her laughter died as she saw the sadness in his dark gaze.

"I missed you."Charlie whispered as he brought her back to a standing position.

Zoey touched his face. "I never went anywhere,Charlie. You're the one who spent four months in Europe."

Charlie caught her hand....he had went to school abroad for a semester after President Bartlet had lost reelection. He had thought it would be best for everyone.....would keep Zoey out of danger.

"I love you."Charlie stated quietly as he drew her close.

Zoey wrapped her arms around his neck. She had dated others while Charlie was in Europe. They had thought it best to seperate instead of doing a long distance relationship. But no one could hold a candle to what she and Charlie shared.

"I love you too."Zoey replied tenderly. "Does this mean we have another chance?"

"If you'll have me."Charlie replied before kissing her.

end of part 44 TBC

 


	45. Chances 45

Title: Chances 

Author: Cindy Brewer 

Disclaimer: I don't own the West Wing characters but the ones you don't recognize are mine.:) 

Rating: PG 

Author's notes: This story is set five years from West Wing's first season. For purposes of this story's timeline Bartlet didn't win reelection. Many thanks to Amanda for letting me borrow Caitlin and for her valuable input on this story.:) Single '' quotation marks indicate a flashback

 

After two more songs Josh reluctantly pulled his wife off the dance floor. He held Donna close as he glanced at his friends.

Leo approached them. "I guess some of my advice sank in after all."He said quietly as he slid an arm around Jenny's waist.

Josh met his ex-boss's gaze. "Thank you."He replied solemnly.

Leo nodded as he lightly touched Donna's arm. "If he gives you any more trouble you know where I am."

Donna laughed and she stepped forward to give Leo a hug. "I will."

Jenny squeezed her husband's right hand. They had reconciled shortly after the assassination attempt."Come on, Leo, let's give these love birds some time alone."

Josh shook his head. "It's alright, Jenny, I have something to say to everyone."

Josh picked up four champagne glasses from a nearby table. He handed one to Donna and the other to the McGarry's.

Taking Donna's free hand Josh stepped forward. He signaled to the DJ and the music stopped.

"Can I have everybody's attention for a moment?"Josh began. "I promise this won't be a long speech."

The guests grew quiet and moved closer to the Lymans.

Josh cleared his throat as he turned to meet Donna's gaze part of him still couldn't believe that they were back together. He had come so close to losing her.

"As most of you know my life has not been the best the last few months."Josh continued as he stepped briefly away from Donna to meet Sam and Caitlin's gaze. "I've made a lot of mistakes the worst of which was pushing my family away."Josh paused as he looked back at Donna. "I thought I could handle everything, including raising Rachel on my own but I was very wrong."

Josh handed Leo his glass of champagne and stepped closer to Donna taking her hand in his. "Donnatella, I'm not able to put into words exactly what you mean to me but the short version is you are my life. I was lost without you and I can't begin to tell you how grateful I am that you were able to forgive me."

Donna felt tears begin to form and she made no effort to blink them away. "Josh......"

Josh shook his head as he placed a gentle finger on her lips. "Let me finish. I know I said this earlier when we renewed our vows but I have to say it again. You saved my life, Donnatella.....I didn't realize how empty my life was until you showed up in the campaign office. You've always been there whenever I needed you without asking for anything in return.

I know I've hurt you deeply and all I can promise you is that I'll spend every day for the rest of our lives making it up to you."

Tears flowed freely down Donna's face as she blindly set her glass down onto a table and she took both of her husband's hands in hers. There was so much she wanted to say but for some reason no words would come.

"I love you, Joshua."Donna stated softly as she met his gaze.

"I love you, Donnatella, always and forever."Josh replied in a choked voice just as the DJ started the next song. He glanced at the DJ in surprise as he pulled Donna close....could it just be a coincidence that the song playing now was the same one that brought them together in Hawaii? Maybe Donna had added the song to the list....either way it didn't matter. The song was as powerful to him now as it had been at the hotel. Donna was the queen of his heart and always would be.

/I had big plans for our future,  
Said I'd give you the whole world somehow  
I tried to make good on that promise,  
Thought I'd be so much further by now  
Never could build you a castle,

Even though you are the queen of my heart  
But I've had the best of intentions from the start  
Now some people think I'm a loser,  
Cause I seldom get things right/

Josh pulled Donna onto the small dance floor and held her close.

The others watched them for a few moments before joining them.

/But you make me feel like a winner,  
When you wrap me in your arms so tight  
Please tell me you will remember,

No matter how much I do wrong  
That I've had the best of intentions - all along

I give you a ring, and I promised you things  
I always thought we'd do

But my best-laid plans slipped right through my hands  
to show my love for you.

And if you could read my heart,  
Then you'd know without exception  
It was all with the best of intentions

So here I am asking forgiveness,  
and praying that you'll understand

Don't think I take you for granted,  
girl I know just how lucky I am

Know you deserve so much better,  
you won't find devotion more true

Cause I've had the best of intentions

Girl I've had the best of intentions,

Yes, I've had the best of intentions loving you/

end


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